Last Sunday when we went for shopping I saw a 3 years old boy, requesting for a toy to her mother. His mother said “you already have many cars” and refused to buy that toy.  Result weeping, crying and sadness. At the end his mother brought a car for him!!!

Common shopping scene when we shop with kids. Whenever we go for shopping, kids try to touch all the things, demand for many things and misplace few things. Yes I agree this is really common behavior but do you really think parents can’t control this? I will say no we can, we can if we want. We can if we are sure what do we want. We can if we know what is right and what is wrong.

I am sure just like me you too want to avoid this behavior and for that here I am sharing the steps I prefer to follow:

Step 1 – Pre-Idea: Before going to anywhere just give the idea of where are you going and why.  For example, if we are going to mall for grocery shopping I will update my daughter with “today we are going for grocery shopping so you can choose any one fruit of your choice and you can help me in vegetables too.”

Step 2 – Set the shopping rule: Set the shopping rules and frequently explain it to your kid. For example, in my house I made a rule “going to buy gifts means only gifts no shopping will be done for me or my daughter.” And for that I will definitely give her pre-idea like “this is the time to get gifts you can help me with your suggestion but we can’t buy anything for you today.’

Step 3 – Praise for positivity: Don’t forget to admire even a smallest co-operation offered by your child. For example if my daughter will say “mom I like this too much. Will you please buy this one for me next time?” Then I will praise her with “I really like that you liked it and still you are ready to wait for that. I am really proud of you.”

Step 4 – Accept the situation: Even after pre-idea and rules, if your kid asks for the thing, first thing to do is accepting the situation. Stay calm, think twice and state your decision.

Step 5 – Say No with confidence: If you don’t want to buy the thing because of any reason tell them no, simply no. for example, I prefer to say “oh yes that’s really good that you like it but not for this time.”

It is perfectly okay if they are sad.  It’s their right to show right emotions.  This is the way they will learn to deal with their emotions and feelings.

Step 6 – Be clear and brief: If reason is simple like they already have that kind of toy then you can simplify it in 1 or 2 sentences but don’t try to explain in detail. For example I prefer to say we cannot buy the things we have.  Be straight and be clear.

Step 7 – Never change your mind: No means no. Never change your decision based on your mood. If Take the decision based on your pre-idea and shopping rules. Don’t buy anything on that day doesn’t matter how much you like or how much your kid insists for the thing.

If you feel the thing your kid asked is really worth enough and s/he deserve it then buy it on very next day but not on that day. Reason is simple, they should understand the meaning of no. If you will change your mind depends on things and situations, they will get confused with your uncertainty and will try to change your decision. Be consistent. On the spot decisions are always inappropriate if you are trying to teach them discipline and manner.

Step 8 – Show Empathy: If your negative answer made your kid sad, show your love and empathy by your words and touch. Explain your kid that you understand his/her feelings and give direction to show that feelings in right way.

Step 9 – State Strict Rule: Still if your kid continues crying throwing screaming or hitting, warn your kid with “I understand you are sad but that doesn’t mean you should throw the things. Stop throwing or else I have to punish you.” Use 123 magic and don’t hesitate to give small punishment or put on timer.

You have to make them understand that this is not the way to show emotions. Help them to understand feeling sad or getting angry doesn’t mean throwing the things or hitting anyone.

Step 10 – Introduce leave n live: Still if your kid is showing fuss, take him/her out of shop and go to home/car. Tell your kid strictly if s/he will behave like this you won’t be able to continue your shopping. Demonstrate that by leaving your kid with caretaker for emergency shopping. Explain your kid that if s/he won’t behave well while shopping then even though you want you can’t take your kid with you.

know your kid with my previous article kids scream troubles and solutions-1

Many things about pregnancy kept me wondering and one of them was why 9 months? Why shall we wait for 9 months? Why can’t we have baby in just few days? Why the duration is exactly 9 months, neither 8 nor 10. In fact 10 is round figure!!!

During my pregnancy my mind asked these questions many times and by the end of the pregnancy I got the answer from my heart which I would like to share with you…..

Depends on the feeling and state of each month I gave them a Name.

First Month Unknown Phase: Most of the time you are not aware of your pregnancy in this month and so I named it Unknown Phase. By the end of this month your body will start sending you sign but till that nothing is sure. Even doctors can’t confirm your pregnancy until you enters in second month!!!

Second Month Time for Surprise: This month will reveal the truth of your pregnancy. Congratulations and thus I would like to call this month as Time for Surprise. If you are not ready for the baby then this can be shock for you but trust me whether you are ready or not, 9 months duration is perfect for you to make your mind to accept this precious gift. So even if this is your unplanned baby please have patience and take the decision.

Third Month Struggling Time: Your pregnancy is confirmed but still you have to take extra care of your body and baby as chances of miscarriages are really high in first three months. And that’s why this is struggling month. Your baby struggles to get a new life and you struggle to bring and accept her in this new world. I remember I was so desperate about a baby girl in first 3 months that I thought if it would be a boy I won’t be able to accept him!!!

Forth Month Time for Blush and Bliss: First three months risk is gone and now you are ready to declare your pregnancy. You are ready to share your perfect bliss with your family and friends.

Fifth Month Relaxing Phase: By the end of forth month most of your pregnancy problems like morning sickness nausea abdominal pain will go. You will be free from the worry of your baby’s life as you already hear her heartbeats. And that’s why I call this month Relaxing Phase (free from pain and worry).

Sixth Month Feel the Touch: By the end of fifth month Baby will inform you her presence by light kick but mostly you will identify that in sixth month and that’s why I named it Feel the Touch …. First time you will feel the touch of your baby and I know how much emotional moment is it. Enjoy the touch and feel the love.

Seventh Month Time to Plan: Now tiny tots will snatch your heart and mind. Babies and baby items are enough to divert your attention. Go for tiny tots window shopping but don’t buy anything in this month. Think how your nursery should look like, get review for your selected baby items and plan with the proper wish list or else you will surely end up with extra expenses. Watch wish think and plan to welcome your baby in your family and world.

Eighth Month Have fun with Shop: Now this is time for you to implement your plan into action.  Shop your wish list and prepare nursery for your baby. It’s beautiful feeling to imagine, shop and fulfill your dream.

Ninth Month Exciting wait State: This month is tiresome as well as you will be eagerly waiting for your baby. You are losing your patience and may count remaining days. But at the same time excitement will increase by the each day passed and so I named it Exciting wait state.

This is what I felt about 9 Months of my pregnancy. Agree with me? Then please like this post. Don’t Agree? Then please leave a comment and share your experience with me.