Throughout my pregnancy I read a lot about pregnancy, even on the contraction and labor and all because I thought that’s all I need to know and my doctor also tried to prepare me for the same but no one (surprised and shocked) ever mentioned even once to learn to be a mother!

I didn’t read much about newborn other than what all the things I need to buy for her, how to put on diaper, how to give her bath and how to give her massage.  What I learned was just a fun part without having awareness of sleepless nights, hunger cries, feeding issues and tiresome days. I was truly thrilled when I came to know that there are different meaning of their cries depends on the intensity of their voice!!!

And that’s why I come up with this article to share few things I missed to learn before step into motherhood and the problems that caused:

1. I need to feed my baby after every 2 hours: Feeding baby in every two hours count night time also. I could not get continuous sleep which troubled me a lot. I literally felt like is she having an alarm in her tummy or what? Though gradually I got used to with that I wished for one full night sleep as my birthday gift which was coming after 20 days of my daughter’s birth!!!
2. I need to change/check her diaper after every feed: Checking or changing the diaper after every feed means cutting off your extra 5 minutes sleep from your 2 hours sleep!!! Well not a big issue if I think now but during first 2 months I felt it’s a biggest problem ever!!!
3. I need to monitor my baby’s every pees and poops: Baby grows by the days and that docs can get to know by their no. of pees and poops. And that means I need to write down that in chart given by her doctor or need to remember till the end of the day to fill all the data together which was definitely not a good idea with my pregnancy brain. Again I would say not a big issue if I see now but at that time with my recovering body it seemed more difficult to me!!!
4. Baby eats for 40 to 45 minutes: Oh God this was certainly new to me!!! When for the first time my nurse told me that it will take only 40 to 45 minutes depends on your baby’s speed and I simply asked “how many minutes you said?” Yes that’s true and they get their speed in 6 to 8 weeks which really cut it off to half but initial time is always tough and tougher for me as I didn’t had any idea about that.
5. I did not know what colic baby is: I was not having any idea about colic baby and when that happened to my baby I was furious. I couldn’t understand anything neither why she was crying for hours without a pause nor why nothing works on the same. I wanted to help but couldn’t and that was frustrating. Luckily in next 4 days my appointment was schedule with her pediatrician and trust me when she asked me “how you are doing” I could say just well with my teary eyes. She consoled me for the things and suggested me to read a book on baby care. She shared all the troubles and solutions for colic baby and that really helped me a lot. She guided me so well that later everything became really easy.

Time after delivery is tough not because of your physical inconveniences but also the changes brought to you by your newborn. Many things you need to learn which are totally new to you and that too without good sleep and enough rest. Your body gives up, your hormones shows tantrums in terms of post pregnancy melt down and here is your baby whom you love a lot but does not respond you (for initial months) at all.

Yes of course all these things won’t be easy either if I would have known before but at least I could have time to prepare myself. As I always believe knowing is everything I feel If I could have known about these things I could have performed well. And that’s why I am sharing these things to all of you would be mummy. My intention is not at all to make you nervous but just to prepare you and your mind to accept the new challenges coming to your life.

Read as much as you can to make the motherhood easy and enjoyable that’s what I learned till the day.

Foster Feel

Guests are on their way to your home and here at your end vessels are in the sink as well as on tables, clothes are on sofa, toys are scattered everywhere and you are still in your night gown with uncombed hair. Big question is how to clean all the things in this much sort time and that too with kids?

Well with kids this is predictable but that doesn’t mean you should exhibit your kids’ items to reveal that you are a parent!!! No need to turn yourself in really mummy look!!! Without these also you will look like a mummy and people will count your hard work behind this.

Things can be easy with kids too. Of course you are busy (busier than any other) but there should be a way to present your house in the way you are. After all that shows your personality.

Here we are sharing 5 steps to keep your home tidy with kids:

1. Start with kids’ room: Play with your kids in their room only. The idea behind this is to tell your kids that if they want to play they should be in their room. Best thing is they will follow this without a single instruction on that! Result is their scattered toys may cover their room but not rest of your house.
2. Decorate with toys: When kids are at home, you have to take away your fragile decorative items and it is not always possible to put the things back every time your kids get home so why not to use the toys to decorate your home. Use cars, dolls, soft toys or train to give new look to your home.
3. Food at food zone only: Fix the place to eat (big meal or small) for you as well as your kids. It will prevent your home from big foodie mess.
4. Teach your kids to keep the surroundings clean: Teach your kids necessary cleanliness concept like they should use the dustbin, they should put their plates in sink or they should throw wash clothes in laundry. These are small things but will decrease your work in half.
5. Have a quick clean up round in an hour: Throw a quick glance to your home after every hour (whenever you are home) to clean up the mess. You may feel who will have the time for this but trust me this will take just a couple of minutes and if you will do this it will save more than 40 minutes at the end of the day. The best thing about this is even your kids will happily help you in cleanup as it takes only few minutes.

Foster Feel

Hurrah you successfully completed 8 months and now countdown begins….if you already started counting the days then let me remind you, your baby can arrives as soon as you complete your 37 weeks or as late as after 42 weeks. Babies arrive in or before 37 weeks are called premature babies and babies arrive between 37 to 42 weeks are known as full term baby. Whether you give birth exactly on due date or in the weeks before or after doesn’t really matter if your baby is healthy.

Well today we are not here to talk about your due date but of course we are going to talk about what are the things you need to finish before your baby arrives:

1. Give final touch to your nursery: Creating a nursery is fun task. All parents want to welcome their baby in their own way and so don’t forget to give your own personal touch to your nursery. Go through the check list for the last time and complete it before time runs. Read Newborn Checklist
2. Finalize baby registry: Baby registry maintains your wish list and your upcoming needs with which your friends and relatives can get their gift ideas for you and your baby. Build it with your time and special interest or else you may end up your nursery with stacking up unnecessary kids’ items.
3. Find baby care options: It is important to plan your baby care options before you deliver. If you are planning to call your parents, book tickets a week before your due date. Search nearby baby care center or good baby sitter in advance. After delivery it won’t be possible for you to spend time to search baby care as you will be busy with your new arrival as well as your health may not support you.
4. Shop motherly stuff: Don’t forget to shop your comfort and that includes your after delivery stuff also. You may need some motherly stuff like feeding bra, feeding pillow, diaper bag, sanitary napkins (lots of), lip gloss, hair clips, moisturizer and many more. For clothes and lingerie buy one size bigger than your normal (before pregnancy) one. Your foot size will take time to fit in your previous shoes so don’t run to get your new shoes for now.
5. Tidy up your house: Your nursery and motherly stuff may need extra space so pack your unnecessary things for the time and put it away. Rearrange your nursery in such a way so that you can get the things handy. If you are planning to use your elder kids’ stuff, wash it clean it and sanitize it. If you are planning to use new clothes for your newborn, wash it couple of times before you use it for your baby. That will make the clothes soft enough for your newborn’s sensitive skin. If you are fond of well-organized clean home, start the cleanup right now as after delivery you won’t be able to get that much time and stamina to do the things.
6. Pack your hospital bag: you may need to run to hospital at any time so pack your bag with the need and comfort. What to pack in bag is depends on country as well as on individual hospital. Here I am sharing the link What to Pack which helped me to pack my bag when I was pregnant. Still I suggest you to visit your hospital and ask the facility offered there.
   
   
   
   
7. Talk about birth plan: It is good option to get birth plan done at the time of delivery only. Talk to your partner as well as your doctor regarding the same.
8. Go through baby names: Finding the perfect name for your baby is always difficult and time consuming so start it right now. You may think you can decide this later what’s hurry but trust me later you won’t get enough time and that may turn your fun into frustration. Start it now and have fun with new finding phase.
9. Have fun run to hospital: Labor pain mostly last for more than 8 hours but sometimes it’s so nominal that mother cannot differentiate it from normal false contraction. Plan a drive to your hospital, measure distance and time to reach there during different span of time as well as find out alternative routes. In case of emergency this knowledge will help you to plan accordingly. You can also visit your hospital to see the available facilities. It is always good to know the place where you are going to deliver.
10. Take a break from your work: If you are planning to leave your job or to take maternity leave, this is the perfect time to start. You may think it is bit early but at the same time this will give you ease from your stress and you will get enough time to welcome your baby in your own way.

Few days back when I was sitting in the garden, I saw a 3 years old kid hit another kid during play. The little boy hit once, then twice and when he hit the other boy for the third time, the other boy simply stopped playing with the little boy.  As he was elder he got the new friends and started playing with them. They did not include this little boy and as a result the little boy stated whining and his mother simply said “these boys I don’t understand why they don’t behave well to little kids!!!”

Now what to say? And to whom? To the one who started hitting or to his mother who didn’t even realize the real reason?

“Hitting is bad and you should never hit anyone” that’s what we want our children to understand but what if they hit? We should ignore that and wait for them to realize it later by themselves?

Have you ever thought that your kid will learn to walk, speak, eat or play by themselves by the time? Haven’t you ever tried to teach them those things?  Then how can you say they will learn “Hitting is bad” by the time by themselves? It is not about time it is more about how to deal with the new power and that you have to teach them. What if suddenly you will get super power, do you think you will not misuse it? you will surely test it either to satisfy your curiosity or for the fun. Exactly that’s what happens with the kids. Up to 2 years they don’t have the power to hit and now they got it; they saw the reflection of it; they know people react on this action and so they hit.

But it is parents’ responsibility to teach them what is right and what is not. How to handle the power and why it is not good option to test all the limits?

Why or when kids hit:

• To Test The Power: As I already mentioned it above the first few times kids hit is not because of any particular intention. They hit to test their power just like when they learn to walk they explore it by walking all the times. For kids it is a way to test their power and its limits.
• To Get The Attention: Few actions direct get attention and hitting is one of them. When parents are not able to spend quality time with kids, kids hit to seek their attention.
• When Their Parents Hit: Sad but true. Kids are cute copycats; they may not understand your words but they will surely understand your actions. If you think it is a reason for you, stop it right here.

From where your kids learn:

• Family: If you or your family members hit the kid or anyone, they will surely learn it so choose your action carefully.
• Television: Loud action shows left its affect on kids mind. Kids cannot understand the real super hero concept, for them super heroes are strong and so they try to copy them.
• Surrounding environment: Kids are very good in observation. They try to copy the things they see. If your surrounding environment is not good they too will learn it slowly and behave the same way.
• Toys: Pretend play plays very strong role in your kids development. With the figure toys kids play good guy bad guy games (fighting games)  and slowly that controls them.

How to teach your kid “hitting is bad”:

• Stop hitting: Kids are cute copy cats. If you want them to behave nicely, you too behave the same way. If you think you hit them even once in a while stop it right here and see the difference. You may think hitting once in a while is required to teach them a lesson but truly speaking there is nothing which you can’t teach them without hitting.  Read When do you get angry on your kids
• Spend enough time: The second most important reason why kids hit is “to get the attention”. Kids are attention seeker and when they don’t get it enough, they try all the ways. Screaming, shouting, throwing and hitting are their preferable ways which always fulfill their intention. Spend quality time with your kids, show your love and see the improvement.
• Explain in good mood: Bed time is always good time to talk. Talk in best mood of your kid and try to explain the things. You can take advantage of books and/or even your own stories to teach them a lesson.
• Introduce punishment: When you think nothing works, you have become little bit strict to show the limits. Introduce small punishment like time out or take away techniques. You have to teach them few things are not at all acceptable and hitting is one of those.