Kids and nightmares is a very common issue especially when they sleep alone. This does not mean that kids those sleep with parents don’t get nightmares at all. Of course compare to other kids these kids feel little safer but still with the age their versatile minds catch many different things from the surroundings and can feel unsafe for any uncertain reason and that may cause the nightmares.

Though there is no defined age to have nightmares, it is more visible in preschooler and above aged kids compare to the toddlers. For newborn to toddler it is just night terror which comes and goes quickly.

You must be wondering what is night terror and how it differs from the nightmares.

Actually night terror is the one which doesn’t disturb kids’ sleep but you can see that your kid is anxious for time being. Your child won’t remember any of that in the morning. You can offer a tight hug or kiss to relax your kid. If that doesn’t work you can wake your child up and she is perfectly okay to go back to sleep. If you won’t do anything then also it will go by the time.

Night mares stay longer and sometimes kids remember it even after many days. Your kids may not go back to sleep and that requires your love and attention. Nightmares can be the reflection of your kids’ day time activity or her state of mind. Nightmares can come from the real life incidents like chased by a dog, being witness of an accident, by hearing about theft, by watching some visual show or it can be the result of pretend mind like monster stories, shadow figures, their imaginary world.

We can’t say exactly at what point which thought will scare your kids. There may be the situation that your kids may use to play with shadow at certain time and suddenly get frightened from the same!!! It is perfectly okay to get scared from the things with which they use to play in early age like some of insects, dark, hide and seek, water or even your room window.

Reason is very simple. First at early age kids are not aware of any sort of possible risk so they are fear-free and second with the age their minds think differently as well as they get the little idea of safe and unsafe world (but not clearly).  And that tries to blur their clear conception of certain things which you inserted before. Most of the nightmares would go away until it has really something to do with their real life. So wait watch and try to help your kid by your love and support.

How to help your kid to cope up with nightmares:

1. Listen to them: When your crying or frightened kid comes to you, hold her and listen the whole story. You may find many stupid things inside but still let her complete first without adding your expert advise.
2. Don’t lie doesn’t mean you need to tell the full truth: Now second step is to clear their mind or to divert their mind. You can choose either of that according to your parenting style. Remember she is just a kid and may not understand many things, for kids things are too simple or too complicated, too bad or too good so it is okay to lie a little bit and make it good. For example even at the age of 6 my daughter strongly believes that lions don’t hurt us if we don’t hurt them first and I never tried to manipulate that in any way or better to say I am the one who put that thought in her mind!!!
3. Show them how much secure they are : Even if there is something real in their nightmare you need not to tell that yes thief can hurt us so be more careful!!! Instead tell them about your home security. Choose your words in a positive way and show that they are always secure with you.
4. Offer them comfort zone: As always offer little comfort to go back to sleep. Night toy, their favorite blanket, soothing music or even soothing story can help you with that.
5. Show your love and support: Well I never need to tell this to a parent as every parent knows how to love a kid.

To prevent your child from nightmares: Precaution is always better than cure so prepare your child to have a peaceful night sleep by providing good positive thoughts.

1. Spend at least 10 to 20 minutes with your kids before leaving them in their room.
2. Talk to them about upcoming excitements/activities of the new day.
3. Avoid scary stories or conversation before bed time. This includes scolding also.
4. If you think your kid is in blue or little anxious, try to divert her mind with funny stories or naughty childhood experiences. When you know this is not the right time to talk about certain things just change the topic.
5. Provide any positive wish to give dream to your kid. For example I leave my kid with don’t forget to dream about Jasmin and you swinging in flower garden or don’t forget to dream about mummy and Mistu making a beautiful song. This may sound silly but this is the best exercise to divert their curious mind in the positive imaginary world.
6. Don’t forget to read a good bed time story as it always works like all in one. It can work as a guide, as an entertainment, as a soothing object or even as imagination enhancement.
7. Talk more about positive things during day time. When you are positive they too will take the things positively.
8. Keep them away from scary visuals as visual images stay longer than the explanation. If you think you need to teach your kids about some safety rules tell them explain them read them but don’t show them videos. Videos leave more negative impact than the solving your purpose.
9. Keep them away from action movies or some sort of negative cartoons.
10. Make fun with dark games. Most of the kids get negative thoughts from dark so show them dark is not always scary by playing games in dark. You can decorate their room with glow stars or you can play with night lights or some glow toys.

Well everything is okay to do when your kid is really in need but don’t overdo anything as kids are simply attention seeker. Once they know you give lots of attention to certain things, they would come to you with the lie (though we don’t consider that as a lie) so don’t let it be their habit. To know more about kids and lie please refer article kids-never-lie-said-my-grandparents-then-why-my-kids-lie-to-me

It’s been more than a month to write and I am glad that finally I am back to my hobby. I believe every day in life teaches us something and so here I am ready to share my learning of a month.

Last one and half month was really busy and tiresome for me. I was truly occupied and stressed out (both mentally and physically). Due to back to back holidays in school I couldn’t concentrate on my writing and later one of my best friends and neighbor moved out. She was the one with whom I use to talk every day about everything and so it was really hard to say good bye to her. Our kids also shared very good friendship so my daughter too gone through the emotional flaw. And result I just been busy with taking care of her emotional flaws as well as mine.

You must be thinking how does all this relate to the kids’ bog? So answer is I learned the new way to control my temper; to deal with my mood swing and that’s what I am sharing here.

Of course I handled my daughter’s emotional flaw well and she quickly came out of all those things and made new friends (at this age it is really easy to forget the things) but it was me who couldn’t handle it and been really fussy. I became short tempered for a while and as a result I use to get angry on my kid without particular reason and that too many times in a day. I knew it wasn’t her fault but I just couldn’t help. Every night I use to promise myself that tomorrow will be different but nothing got changed. And I have decided to take my kid’s help to regain my composure.

Finally I talked to my 6 years old daughter and told her the truth that I am upset and I am really sorry for all these things. She listened it carefully ( even though she couldn’t understand many things) and simply agreed to help me with my mood swing.

Punishment given by my kid – Foster Feel

I and my daughter has decided to measure my mood by reward points. If I behave well she will give me a star and if I behave badly she will give me a sad smiley exactly the way I treat her. If I get more than 2 sad faces in a day she can punish me. And to my surprise it really worked!!!  First day I got 3 sad faces and she gave me a punishment which I carried our sincerely and from very next day I could control my temper just like before. Of course we did it for whole week but I regain my composure quickly. I never thought kids can help us like this!!!

Just like kids we too can control our behavior by reward points so whenever you feel you are not at your best just try it out. If your kid is elder than 5 they can help you with this which is truly amazing experience or you can measure your mistakes by yourself.

Here are some points which can help you to implement this exercise:

1. Be wise and accept your mistake.
2. Don’t feel embarrassed to carry out punishment instead feel sorry.
3. Your kids are basically helping you so don’t argue if they give you sad smiley for the small reason.
4. It may take time so be patient.
5. Give treat to your kids for their help.

I knew we can learn many things from kids but I never knew kids can help us to settle down our feelings too.  This will be beneficial for your kids too:

1. Your kids will feel special as you are taking their help.
2. It will add their confidence level.
3. They will become more positive towards life.
4. It will be indirect lesson for them to deal with their mood too.
5. It will lengthen your bond with your kids.

And I am telling all these from my own experience. So If you are going through the blue please try it out and have an incredible experience of parenting.