“Schools don’t give homework of more than 15 minutes in a day” but I don’t think that’s the case with me as my daughter takes 1 hr to get ready for the homework and another 1 hr to finish her homework!!! Where is the concept of 15 minutes homework?? Well I am happy to announce that I am not alone here, it is a common issue with most of the preschooler to primary grade students, either they are not ready to seat or they are not ready to write.

I remember when I enrolled my daughter in Nursery, in very first PTM her teacher asked me “Is there any way your daughter can sit down” of course in polite way but she was really asking for my help and I suggested “Try with story books, she likes stories”. Well slowly her teacher too got very good bonding with her but yes challenge is always there. First she was not ready to seat and now she is not ready to write!!!

Your kid might be a sitting player or all the times explorer but when it is time for you to send them to preschool you must help them to seat and focus on particular things whether it is a toy, a book, a rhyme or even a play. First thing you should do is accept that your kids’ teacher is not complaining but just asking for your help as at the end you’re the one who knows your kid best.  Well even if you know everything it is not an easy task to teach your explorer to seat and focus and so here are some tips to help you out which really did the magic for me:

Know your kids: Observe your kid and figure out her nature as every kid is different in some or other way. Some kids can jump all the day long while some kids can get tired in just 10 minutes. Some can play with one toy for entire week while for some kids even 10 toys are not enough for one day. Some kids get scare from anything and everything while some kids are always ready to take risk. Figure out your kids’ nature to select the right activity to engage them.

Select the activity: Now as you know your kids’ nature, it is easy to choose the activity to engage them with which they can seat for a while. You may use books, puzzle, blocks, scribbling, drawing, coloring or musical instruments. All these activities are helpful to increase attention span of your kid. Respect your kids’ likes and dislikes, no need to play puzzle just because few of her age kids are playing with it.

Stick to time: If you really want to work on your kids’ concentration add one or two of these activities in her routine. If you are focusing on homework, add 10 minutes homework everyday even if it is off for school. This will make them ready to do the things which they don’t like to do but necessary to do.

Take a break: Bitter truth is most of the kids cannot focus on anything for more than 10 minutes so change the activity (subject in case of homework) after every 10 minutes to help them to be focused. If your kid is really hyper active you must take 5 minutes break after every 10 minutes work which will help her to release her extra energy.

Say No to distraction: This is really tough especially when your kid is explorer like mine!!! Even if everything is set anything can catch your kids’ attention and distract them. This includes your cell phone rings, chirping sound of bird, crawling ant on the floor, doorbell ring and many more. So choose the time and place carefully. That may be the case that when you send your kid to get pencil, she don’t turn up even after 10-15 minutes and when you check on your kid, you might catch her playing with something else in her room!!! Well accept it and enjoy it as this innocence makes them lively and loving but of course next time make sure everything is ready before you start your activity.

Praise for good: “Kids and stars” always works no matter what is the age. Just like every good behavior here you give them star for every 10 minutes work.

In last 6 months most of the mothers I know asked me the same question “when will my kid play with other kids?” and every time I preferred to answer “your kid is still small for that”. Well during conversation I don’t get time to explain everything as I am also a mother but here with this article I am trying to help you to figure out the correct age of your kids to get ready for social play.

For adults play means interacting with other people or some sort of physical activity but for kids play means to explore the surroundings. For kids everything is new and so they are so busy with all the stuff that they hardly notice people and so you feel that they are lacking in social involvement which is so untrue.

Here is the age to refer your kids’ social skills:

Babies (age 6 months to 2 years) sometimes play alone but that doesn’t mean they are not social or not interested in people at the same time babies who look happy with adults or having fun watching other kids doesn’t mean they love people. They are interested in their behavior more than the actual person. Truly speaking for babies, watching kids’ playing is actually equivalent to playing with battery operated toys!!! And trust me nothing is wrong in that as they can’t differentiate in real and imaginary world.

Once your kids turn 2 they start analyzing everything and everyone. They like to watch people they like to watch vehicles they like to watch every surrounding thing and sometimes they copy others too (that’s really cute to see) but they can’t differentiate any of it at this point so we would not say that they are introvert or really interested in people at this stage. Experts call it solitary play as they are interested in play but don’t notice anyone personally, because for them people and toys are almost same.

Once your kids turn 3 they start taking interest in other kids’ play but don’t join them. They like to watch and sometimes they like to play with the similar toys or with the similar way but not with the kids. They can differentiate that these are real people and not a toy but still they look for game not for friends. Experts call that parallel play as they are least interested in people but prefer to play nearby.

Once your kids turn 4 they get little interest in people but still interest in toys are much more important than interest in people. They like to mingle with kids but they prefer toys if they really need to choose. They may have soft corner for one or two friends but they are still self-oriented. That’s the only reason group play date for age 4 to 5 years doesn’t go well but you can always plan a play date with one friend at a time. Here you can have little idea about your kids’ social skills but yet it is just a start, you can’t say much. Experts say “If they feel you are social at this age they too become social sooner or later. Though nature of individual matters, If you would talk to people they too become free with them and if you hesitate they too would hesitate. So technically you should focus on your social skills more than theirs.”

Once your kids turn 5, kids get interest in other kids than play and toys and that’s why they play together. Perfect time to arrange play dates. They play and they fight too but who don’t fight? So arrange play dates and encourage them to make new friends. Though actual difference you will see after the age 6, this is the perfect age to teach them social skills. At this age they give importance to people, sometimes more than their likes and dislikes which shows their correct nature. So observe carefully to enhance their social skills with your wise knowledge.

It was the first day of grade II for my six years old daughter and so I gifted her sparkling necklace. She wore it with sparkling smile and said so this means you will give me necklace every year on my first day of the school right? And I remembered I gave her necklace on her first day of grade I as well. I didn’t realize that I was giving her same thing again at the same time with the same reason. Well it was just a necklace and once in a year so I said of course if you perform well. But this incident reminded me of my most pending post which I never completed and finally I am here with the one.

It was a Friday evening when my 5 years old daughter showed up and said “hey mummy today is the movie day so what do you think what shall we watch?”

With surprise I asked “who said that today we are going to watch movie?”

She replied “Today is Friday; we always watch movie on Friday!!! Last Friday we watched Frozen and before that we watched Tangle remember?”

Conversation continued and somehow I convinced her to sleep with two extra bedtime stories but the point is why did this happen?

My mind was still on “We always watch movie on Friday”.

What is always? For the first time I saw that there is a movie coming on Friday so I thought it would be a good change for her and second time her most favorite movie was coming so I just granted it” where is always? It was only twice!!!

For her it was always and for me it was twice only.

Same thing same day same time what was that? Routine isn’t it? Then yes she was right with the words “we always do that”.

I smiled and thought it is so easy to improvise kids’ routine whenever we feel something is just not right. For kids twice means routine. They are such a sweetheart that we just need to work for 2 or max 3 days. If you want to add or edit something in their routine you just need to focus on twice and later it will become habit for them. For good thing or better to say for the things they hate (I mean dislike but here I would say hate as for kids they either love or hate!!!) you may need to work for 1 week consistently but most of the time you can set the things in their routine in just 2 or 3 attempts.

At the same time there is challenge as well, challenge to think twice before granting anything that is not a part of routine.

As I always say 2 makes routine for kids but somehow I too forgot here that watching back to back movie on same day same time is something I don’t want to add in her routine. And as I did the same thing on two consecutive Fridays she felt that it is her new routine.  She was enjoying that so she didn’t even mention it until there was a day not to do the same thing and I did not realize it till the day came.

Here I am sharing few things which I learned from my experiences:

1. Do not repeat the same thing on same day and same time or else it would be a part of their routine.
2. If you really need to do the same thing, do it but make sure it shouldn’t be on the same day and same time. For ex. If you have gone out on last Saturday make sure this week you would go out on Sunday or any other day but not on Saturday so their mind don’t relate it.
3. Don’t introduce anything twice in a month until you really want to make it as a routine.
4. Don’t give the same explanation for the repetition of the similar event or else it will become ritual for them.
5. Do not argue when you make this kind of mistake instead agree with them and say yes that wasn’t the right decision, we should be more careful next time to avoid this kind of confusion. Be real Be friend.

Please feel free to share your similar experiences with us.