To be Jealous is just an emotion like happy, sad, cranky, excited, bored, grumpy and angry. It is perfectly okay to feel it once in a while as a kid. Normally kids face this feeling between the ages of 5 years to 6 years but sometimes it arrives early. Though feelings are very good to learn, it is very important to teach your kids which feeling they should accept and which one should be avoided. For example we have to teach our kids that we should choose happiness over sadness and we should avoid jealousy and anger as much as possible.

One day my 6 years old daughter came to me and asked “mom do you think that aunt doesn’t like me?”

I was really surprised and eager to know her point of view so I started conversation with “of course not dear, what did make you think like that?”

And here what I got “because she always praises my friend but not me!!!”

And I got the whole story. The friend she was talking about was very confident at early age. That girl used to visit many places alone and so we did talk about her couple of times and my daughter overheard some of those conversations.

For kids it is very common to compare themselves with others. Once they turn 5 they look at the people to be best. They try to copy their parents, their teachers, their friends, their neighbors or anyone who looks best to them. As a result they follow them blindly. Well it is not their fault; they just want to be best. And if their best people complements other than them they feel they are not up to the mark and get into the competition. As a parent it is our responsibility to teach our kids that there is no competition and there is no word like best. We don’t do things to impress others and there is no need of others to love us.

Things became easy for me because I knew my daughter was little jealous to be best and I knew exactly what I needed to do here and that worked too. And so I came up with one more article. (As most of my articles are my experiences only).

I explained her two things:  1.There is no comparison. Everyone is different. When we praise someone that just includes someone not you. 2. Even if Aunt likes her friend more, she shouldn’t be worried about that. Everyone likes different things, different food, different clothes and so as people. You cannot be favorite of all. And that is perfectly okay.

Mostly this feeling comes for friends, cousins, classmates or siblings. Sometimes they compare themselves with others or sometimes they notice their parents doing the same. Sometimes they overheard something and sometimes they simply misunderstand the things. They have little knowledge of being best and that makes them little confuse.

And so here I am demonstrating when kids become jealous first:

1. When kids are not getting enough attention: Well we can’t define enough here because each kid needs different amount of time and comfort. 5 years is big milestone and brings big changes in your kids, and so their requirements changes too. Till now they were looking for your physical presence but now they want you to be present both mentally and physically. What you need to do is just spend quality time with your kids instead of looking for quantity time only. You might be giving your best but here they are the boss.
2. When their favorites pay attention to others: This was the case with my daughter and it is very easy to overcome when you have good parent-kid relationship. If you are enough close to your kids’ heart they won’t really mind all these things for long time and understand your explanation too but if you are not you must work on that.
3. When they overheard the conversation: Kids’ minds are very tricky, they think in different way and so you must be careful with your words and/or action when they are around.
4. When this feeling is inherited: If you feel jealous once in a while then chances of your kids’ being jealous are higher. Not because it is in your genes but because somewhere somehow you will surely express your jealousy by one or another way and as kids are cute copy cats they will copy this too. Work on your feelings to manage theirs.

Do you think your kid is jealous to be best? If yes then follow these rules to help them to deal with their feeling:

1. Pay attention, pay it little more.
2. Don’t discuss kids’ when they are around.
3. Make regular conversation with your kids. Best place is your dining table. Ask questions like who is best in school, who is good in sports, who is good in reading etc. They don’t need to be best in all. All have different attribute.
4. Model others but not too much.
5. Stop justifying your kids did or feelings in front of others. That encourages their wrong behavior. Bad is bad no matter what is the reason.
6. Do not feel pity on your kid, you are making them weak.
7. Scold at the right time not all the times. They should know what is wrong exactly when that happens.
8. Make sure your kids get enough sleep. Sleep is the solution for each and every problem. If they are fresh, their mind is ready to accept the truth and analyze the facts else just not.
9. Give hugs and kisses frequently. That helps your kids to grow and nourish their brain and body.
10. Don’t forget to mention one good did of your kid before you call it a night.

There was a time when you couldn’t imagine kids without a toy and now it’s time when you won’t see even a single kid without gadgets! Gadgets like mobile phones, tablet, play station, laptop and television are taking place in kids’ life like it is necessity but the truth is it is just a facility. Once in a while watching something on TV or playing video games is change for both parents and kids but every day is just a bad habit. If you are one of those parents who think gadgets are helpful in many ways then I would like to show you where exactly parents prefer to offer gadgets to their kids and how can it not be necessity.

Here are the reasons when/where parents prefer to offer gadgets to their kids:

1. While eating: As a parent we want our kids to eat healthy and little more. Well there is no definition of little more but yes we all try to feed little extra to our kids and for that we offer anything and everything. But do you know compare to gadgets, table games are more successful tool to feed the kids with entertainment? Gadgets just distract kids from their food so we can feed them whatever we want but table games actually offer interest in food so they can enjoy the meal too. For more please read the article Follow 8 rules to feed your kids.
2. When kids are cranky: We just need to give little time to teach our kids right soothing ways at right age and we are done. You may use soft toys, blankets or some books to soothe them and truly speaking the effect of those last longer than watching television or playing video games.
3. When we do not want disturbance: When we are over occupied or on phone call we feel gadgets are the quick solution to our problem but the truth is it is just an option among many other solutions which we don’t see. Look around and you will surely find the perfect way to relax.
4. To teach something: To teach manners or to extend your kids’ knowledge there are books, there are magazines and there are educational toys. You don’t need videos for that. I agree videos are interesting and take less effort (from both parents and kids) but out of 50 videos only 1 video fulfill your requirement. Rests are just time pass. And most important thing is you can never be sure what exactly your kid will learn from those videos.
5. While travelling : Yeah this one is sure tricky because getting kids’ interest in something like travelling, nature or long drive is a lot more effort but you can always divert them with travel toys, travel games and books. Slowly they will get interest in nature as well.
6. Time pass: Well first kids don’t need time pass. They have whole time to play and enjoy so if you think it is a long day and your kids are bored (which they are not) let me remind you of the toys you bought for them. Toys are their time pass not video games.

Well if you are a parent who permits gadgets for above reasons then it’s time for you to rethink on that. If you are a parent who too thinks gadgets are not good for kids and want to wean it, here is the solution which can help you with that.

1. Change yourself: Actually it’s not kids who crave for gadgets it’s us who think gadgets can do magic. We say we are running out of time but if we look into our screen time (including mobile calls and social sites) we waste more than our 40% of a day in doing nothing!!! Sad but true. So now not for yourself then for your kids get the change in your life. Kids are cute copy cats; their base of interest is mostly your interest so if you stop using gadgets they will automatically follow you. Start working on your habit and it will automatically reflect on your kids’ habit. Trust me it’s not tough, I have stopped using gadgets in front of my daughter since last 5 years and it is working really smooth.
2. Add outdoor games: Fresh air, free space and good partner in sports that’s all kids need. Take them out, play with them, walk in trail, run to race and introduce real sports or games which you used to play as a kid. You never know you might need this more than your kids.
3. Divert with encouragement: If you went too long with gadgets then your kids may ask for it in initial days. Don’t be disappointed. It’s perfectly normal. They are expecting the thing which you once set into their routine. What they need is just a company and that can be you. Try some indoor games to divert, sing songs, read books, bring out artist in you or tell them stories. (If nothing works TRY WATER or SAND toys. That never fails.) There are so much fun activities to do and so choose whatever is suitable for you.
4. Don’t say No: No one likes to listen NO. It is a small word but the impact is huge. I am not saying never use NO but just be cautious. I have seen many parents who say no for everything and give half of those things. This way they lose control over NO and their kids both. When you say No for everything, kids get confuse and upset but if you say No for certain things then your kids will surely give it a thought. So if you want your kids to listen to your No for gadgets, say NO for the right things only. Be wise with your words, be patient, trust your decision and have faith in your kids. Nothing is impossible.