“Schools don’t give homework of more than 15 minutes in a day” but I don’t think that’s the case with me as my daughter takes 1 hr to get ready for the homework and another 1 hr to finish her homework!!! Where is the concept of 15 minutes homework?? Well I am happy to announce that I am not alone here, it is a common issue with most of the preschooler to primary grade students, either they are not ready to seat or they are not ready to write.

I remember when I enrolled my daughter in Nursery, in very first PTM her teacher asked me “Is there any way your daughter can sit down” of course in polite way but she was really asking for my help and I suggested “Try with story books, she likes stories”. Well slowly her teacher too got very good bonding with her but yes challenge is always there. First she was not ready to seat and now she is not ready to write!!!

Your kid might be a sitting player or all the times explorer but when it is time for you to send them to preschool you must help them to seat and focus on particular things whether it is a toy, a book, a rhyme or even a play. First thing you should do is accept that your kids’ teacher is not complaining but just asking for your help as at the end you’re the one who knows your kid best.  Well even if you know everything it is not an easy task to teach your explorer to seat and focus and so here are some tips to help you out which really did the magic for me:

Know your kids: Observe your kid and figure out her nature as every kid is different in some or other way. Some kids can jump all the day long while some kids can get tired in just 10 minutes. Some can play with one toy for entire week while for some kids even 10 toys are not enough for one day. Some kids get scare from anything and everything while some kids are always ready to take risk. Figure out your kids’ nature to select the right activity to engage them.

Select the activity: Now as you know your kids’ nature, it is easy to choose the activity to engage them with which they can seat for a while. You may use books, puzzle, blocks, scribbling, drawing, coloring or musical instruments. All these activities are helpful to increase attention span of your kid. Respect your kids’ likes and dislikes, no need to play puzzle just because few of her age kids are playing with it.

Stick to time: If you really want to work on your kids’ concentration add one or two of these activities in her routine. If you are focusing on homework, add 10 minutes homework everyday even if it is off for school. This will make them ready to do the things which they don’t like to do but necessary to do.

Take a break: Bitter truth is most of the kids cannot focus on anything for more than 10 minutes so change the activity (subject in case of homework) after every 10 minutes to help them to be focused. If your kid is really hyper active you must take 5 minutes break after every 10 minutes work which will help her to release her extra energy.

Say No to distraction: This is really tough especially when your kid is explorer like mine!!! Even if everything is set anything can catch your kids’ attention and distract them. This includes your cell phone rings, chirping sound of bird, crawling ant on the floor, doorbell ring and many more. So choose the time and place carefully. That may be the case that when you send your kid to get pencil, she don’t turn up even after 10-15 minutes and when you check on your kid, you might catch her playing with something else in her room!!! Well accept it and enjoy it as this innocence makes them lively and loving but of course next time make sure everything is ready before you start your activity.

Praise for good: “Kids and stars” always works no matter what is the age. Just like every good behavior here you give them star for every 10 minutes work.

In last 6 months most of the mothers I know asked me the same question “when will my kid play with other kids?” and every time I preferred to answer “your kid is still small for that”. Well during conversation I don’t get time to explain everything as I am also a mother but here with this article I am trying to help you to figure out the correct age of your kids to get ready for social play.

For adults play means interacting with other people or some sort of physical activity but for kids play means to explore the surroundings. For kids everything is new and so they are so busy with all the stuff that they hardly notice people and so you feel that they are lacking in social involvement which is so untrue.

Here is the age to refer your kids’ social skills:

Babies (age 6 months to 2 years) sometimes play alone but that doesn’t mean they are not social or not interested in people at the same time babies who look happy with adults or having fun watching other kids doesn’t mean they love people. They are interested in their behavior more than the actual person. Truly speaking for babies, watching kids’ playing is actually equivalent to playing with battery operated toys!!! And trust me nothing is wrong in that as they can’t differentiate in real and imaginary world.

Once your kids turn 2 they start analyzing everything and everyone. They like to watch people they like to watch vehicles they like to watch every surrounding thing and sometimes they copy others too (that’s really cute to see) but they can’t differentiate any of it at this point so we would not say that they are introvert or really interested in people at this stage. Experts call it solitary play as they are interested in play but don’t notice anyone personally, because for them people and toys are almost same.

Once your kids turn 3 they start taking interest in other kids’ play but don’t join them. They like to watch and sometimes they like to play with the similar toys or with the similar way but not with the kids. They can differentiate that these are real people and not a toy but still they look for game not for friends. Experts call that parallel play as they are least interested in people but prefer to play nearby.

Once your kids turn 4 they get little interest in people but still interest in toys are much more important than interest in people. They like to mingle with kids but they prefer toys if they really need to choose. They may have soft corner for one or two friends but they are still self-oriented. That’s the only reason group play date for age 4 to 5 years doesn’t go well but you can always plan a play date with one friend at a time. Here you can have little idea about your kids’ social skills but yet it is just a start, you can’t say much. Experts say “If they feel you are social at this age they too become social sooner or later. Though nature of individual matters, If you would talk to people they too become free with them and if you hesitate they too would hesitate. So technically you should focus on your social skills more than theirs.”

Once your kids turn 5, kids get interest in other kids than play and toys and that’s why they play together. Perfect time to arrange play dates. They play and they fight too but who don’t fight? So arrange play dates and encourage them to make new friends. Though actual difference you will see after the age 6, this is the perfect age to teach them social skills. At this age they give importance to people, sometimes more than their likes and dislikes which shows their correct nature. So observe carefully to enhance their social skills with your wise knowledge.

It was the first day of grade II for my six years old daughter and so I gifted her sparkling necklace. She wore it with sparkling smile and said so this means you will give me necklace every year on my first day of the school right? And I remembered I gave her necklace on her first day of grade I as well. I didn’t realize that I was giving her same thing again at the same time with the same reason. Well it was just a necklace and once in a year so I said of course if you perform well. But this incident reminded me of my most pending post which I never completed and finally I am here with the one.

It was a Friday evening when my 5 years old daughter showed up and said “hey mummy today is the movie day so what do you think what shall we watch?”

With surprise I asked “who said that today we are going to watch movie?”

She replied “Today is Friday; we always watch movie on Friday!!! Last Friday we watched Frozen and before that we watched Tangle remember?”

Conversation continued and somehow I convinced her to sleep with two extra bedtime stories but the point is why did this happen?

My mind was still on “We always watch movie on Friday”.

What is always? For the first time I saw that there is a movie coming on Friday so I thought it would be a good change for her and second time her most favorite movie was coming so I just granted it” where is always? It was only twice!!!

For her it was always and for me it was twice only.

Same thing same day same time what was that? Routine isn’t it? Then yes she was right with the words “we always do that”.

I smiled and thought it is so easy to improvise kids’ routine whenever we feel something is just not right. For kids twice means routine. They are such a sweetheart that we just need to work for 2 or max 3 days. If you want to add or edit something in their routine you just need to focus on twice and later it will become habit for them. For good thing or better to say for the things they hate (I mean dislike but here I would say hate as for kids they either love or hate!!!) you may need to work for 1 week consistently but most of the time you can set the things in their routine in just 2 or 3 attempts.

At the same time there is challenge as well, challenge to think twice before granting anything that is not a part of routine.

As I always say 2 makes routine for kids but somehow I too forgot here that watching back to back movie on same day same time is something I don’t want to add in her routine. And as I did the same thing on two consecutive Fridays she felt that it is her new routine.  She was enjoying that so she didn’t even mention it until there was a day not to do the same thing and I did not realize it till the day came.

Here I am sharing few things which I learned from my experiences:

1. Do not repeat the same thing on same day and same time or else it would be a part of their routine.
2. If you really need to do the same thing, do it but make sure it shouldn’t be on the same day and same time. For ex. If you have gone out on last Saturday make sure this week you would go out on Sunday or any other day but not on Saturday so their mind don’t relate it.
3. Don’t introduce anything twice in a month until you really want to make it as a routine.
4. Don’t give the same explanation for the repetition of the similar event or else it will become ritual for them.
5. Do not argue when you make this kind of mistake instead agree with them and say yes that wasn’t the right decision, we should be more careful next time to avoid this kind of confusion. Be real Be friend.

Please feel free to share your similar experiences with us.

Everyone wants to make their kids master in everything and this everything includes sports, study, arts and craft, socialism and discipline. Well I hope you know you are raising a kid!!! I have seen many parents enrolling their kids in all the different classes like drawing, sports, singing, dancing, hand writing etc. even before the age of 4!!!

I remember when I was looking for skating classes for my 4 years old daughter the age criteria was above 5 years and when last year I enrolled her in the same class, the age criteria was dropped down by 3 years!!! I wondered if the same classes told me once that the kids are not physically ready before the age of 5 then what makes them ready now!!! Its us who forced them to do so; Its parents like you and me who told them I want to see if she can learn at early age or not; Its us who decided to give a try so please give a pause, think twice, search for correct age on the internet and look down for the reasons why you should not enroll your kids to classes before the age:

 Why you should not enroll your kids in classes before the age:

1. Physically not ready: Every age has its own milestone for example at the age of 6 months your kid can sit by himself; at the age of 10 months they can stand and at the age of 1 year they can walk. Even if you try hard enough you can not make them learn these things before the age and the reason is only one that their body is yet to develop. Mind and body synchronization comes up with the age and so you should give them time. There are chances of physical injuries which can turn out to the biggest mistake ever so please don’t rush and wait for the correct age before enrolling your kids in any activity.
2. Mentally not focused: Just like their body their brain too is not ready. Little kids are easy to divert and so they catch distractions very easily and so they don’t learn really. One year learning of small kid is equivalent of 1 month learning of an age appropriate kid!!! So basically you are wasting your time and money.
3. Early enrollment can steal their interest: Most of the kids have short term interest. Very few kids do the same thing for longer run. So if you would enroll your 3 years old kid in drawing and coloring, she may enjoy it that time but she would not learn it properly (because of the age) and by 4 she would loosen her interest which is the correct age to do the drawing and coloring!!! So technically when you did not expect them to color they colored better than their age but later they couldn’t. At 3 they couldn’t learn and now at 4 they loosen their interest so actually instead of profit it is disadvantage.
4. Don’t get time for age appropriate activity: There is always something to do at every age. if you enroll your kid in something different than age they will not get time to do the things of their respected age and so they will never enjoy or learn that activity. So utilize your kids’ time with age appropriate interesting activity than forcing them to overdo anything.
5. Not independent: Kids younger than 4 years can stay without parents only for preschool but not for extra activity.  They crave for pampering; they crave for attention, love and care. And so they may cry and waste the time, money and energy for nothing. And this may disturb other kids too. So simply back off and give your kids your time, love and care.

Actually you should not enroll your kids in any classes before the age of 4 years but if you are running out of time you can enroll them in some enjoyable classes where they can sing rhymes or listen stories or can have some fun time with age appropriate activity. You can always send them in day care or get a babysitter for them.

The best recommendation for the kids younger than 4 is library (toys and books both).

Well I know all the parents are worried about their kids’ future but trust me they will surely learn the things at the right age and make you proud but till then just wait and let them enjoy their childhood as things can be learn at any age but childhood won’t come again.

First is always special whether it is a first ray of the Sun or The first rain of the season or the feeling of holding your baby for the first time or even your baby’s first word. When I was wondering about my first post of this year 2017, my thoughts traveled all the clouds and sky.  I wanted to publish the one which can be beneficial for both parents as well as kids and I landed on the “Play alone Time”.  I am sure nothing can be better than this post to foster your parenting as Play alone time will not only make your kids independent but also offers you some personal time to conquer your self.

Play alone time is the time when your kids are most likely to have fun with them. They enjoy their own company and comfort themselves with their favorite toy or activity.

Expert says “play alone time is as much important as spending quality time with your kids” so here is why play alone time is important:

1. Play alone time leaves the kids on their own and so they can explore the way they want which increase their self-esteem.
2. Curious kids derive different ways to play with the same room and same toys which helps them to develop their imagination.
3. The one who regularly having play alone time are more satisfied and happy with themselves. These kids enjoy their own company.
4. During play alone time they express their heart in one or another way so you can get the idea of your child’s actual thought process and development.
5. Play alone time is one of the best way to review your parenting as here your kid is going to perform all the good or bad things she learned from you.
6. Chances of getting good friends are high as these kids are more focused on their friends’ quality than seeking for just a companion.

How your kids play alone time should look like:

1. Depends on age you can choose the time. You can start play alone time by the age of 8 to 9 months. At this age kids can play for 15 to 20 minutes by themselves which increase gradually by 45 to 75 minutes in next 2 years. This doesn’t mean kids elder than 3 years can play alone for 2 to 3 hrs. Ideally we can say kids elder than 2 years can have successfully play alone time of 1 hr.
2. Play alone time should not include electronics. Say No to mobile, television, tablet, phone and musical toys.
3. Double check your kids’ safety according to your kids’ age.
4. You should not be visible to your kids but you have to be near to the place so you can monitor your kids’ activity.
5. Watch your kids’ activity carefully to improve your parenting.

Play alone time doesn’t mean:

1. In this 1 hr. your kids will never turn up to see you. They may come to check you in every 20 minutes and go back to play again.
2. You need not to look out your kid.
3. You can leave your kid in your house or car alone.

Play alone time is beneficial to you as well. You too can have play alone time (Me Time) in this 1 hr.!!!  This is the best way to steal time for your fun loving activity or to finish your important paper work. And last but not least it is always pleasure to watch your kids playing. So have fun and enjoy the charm. Remember play alone time is to enjoy so don’t take extra load to finish the pending things (though it is really hard to avoid those chores, target to spend this time on you at least twice in a week).

*** If your kid doesn’t turn up at least once in this one hr. then it means you need to give little bit more attention to your kid as it shows your kid is bit detached to you.

Kids and nightmares is a very common issue especially when they sleep alone. This does not mean that kids those sleep with parents don’t get nightmares at all. Of course compare to other kids these kids feel little safer but still with the age their versatile minds catch many different things from the surroundings and can feel unsafe for any uncertain reason and that may cause the nightmares.

Though there is no defined age to have nightmares, it is more visible in preschooler and above aged kids compare to the toddlers. For newborn to toddler it is just night terror which comes and goes quickly.

You must be wondering what is night terror and how it differs from the nightmares.

Actually night terror is the one which doesn’t disturb kids’ sleep but you can see that your kid is anxious for time being. Your child won’t remember any of that in the morning. You can offer a tight hug or kiss to relax your kid. If that doesn’t work you can wake your child up and she is perfectly okay to go back to sleep. If you won’t do anything then also it will go by the time.

Night mares stay longer and sometimes kids remember it even after many days. Your kids may not go back to sleep and that requires your love and attention. Nightmares can be the reflection of your kids’ day time activity or her state of mind. Nightmares can come from the real life incidents like chased by a dog, being witness of an accident, by hearing about theft, by watching some visual show or it can be the result of pretend mind like monster stories, shadow figures, their imaginary world.

We can’t say exactly at what point which thought will scare your kids. There may be the situation that your kids may use to play with shadow at certain time and suddenly get frightened from the same!!! It is perfectly okay to get scared from the things with which they use to play in early age like some of insects, dark, hide and seek, water or even your room window.

Reason is very simple. First at early age kids are not aware of any sort of possible risk so they are fear-free and second with the age their minds think differently as well as they get the little idea of safe and unsafe world (but not clearly).  And that tries to blur their clear conception of certain things which you inserted before. Most of the nightmares would go away until it has really something to do with their real life. So wait watch and try to help your kid by your love and support.

How to help your kid to cope up with nightmares:

1. Listen to them: When your crying or frightened kid comes to you, hold her and listen the whole story. You may find many stupid things inside but still let her complete first without adding your expert advise.
2. Don’t lie doesn’t mean you need to tell the full truth: Now second step is to clear their mind or to divert their mind. You can choose either of that according to your parenting style. Remember she is just a kid and may not understand many things, for kids things are too simple or too complicated, too bad or too good so it is okay to lie a little bit and make it good. For example even at the age of 6 my daughter strongly believes that lions don’t hurt us if we don’t hurt them first and I never tried to manipulate that in any way or better to say I am the one who put that thought in her mind!!!
3. Show them how much secure they are : Even if there is something real in their nightmare you need not to tell that yes thief can hurt us so be more careful!!! Instead tell them about your home security. Choose your words in a positive way and show that they are always secure with you.
4. Offer them comfort zone: As always offer little comfort to go back to sleep. Night toy, their favorite blanket, soothing music or even soothing story can help you with that.
5. Show your love and support: Well I never need to tell this to a parent as every parent knows how to love a kid.

To prevent your child from nightmares: Precaution is always better than cure so prepare your child to have a peaceful night sleep by providing good positive thoughts.

1. Spend at least 10 to 20 minutes with your kids before leaving them in their room.
2. Talk to them about upcoming excitements/activities of the new day.
3. Avoid scary stories or conversation before bed time. This includes scolding also.
4. If you think your kid is in blue or little anxious, try to divert her mind with funny stories or naughty childhood experiences. When you know this is not the right time to talk about certain things just change the topic.
5. Provide any positive wish to give dream to your kid. For example I leave my kid with don’t forget to dream about Jasmin and you swinging in flower garden or don’t forget to dream about mummy and Mistu making a beautiful song. This may sound silly but this is the best exercise to divert their curious mind in the positive imaginary world.
6. Don’t forget to read a good bed time story as it always works like all in one. It can work as a guide, as an entertainment, as a soothing object or even as imagination enhancement.
7. Talk more about positive things during day time. When you are positive they too will take the things positively.
8. Keep them away from scary visuals as visual images stay longer than the explanation. If you think you need to teach your kids about some safety rules tell them explain them read them but don’t show them videos. Videos leave more negative impact than the solving your purpose.
9. Keep them away from action movies or some sort of negative cartoons.
10. Make fun with dark games. Most of the kids get negative thoughts from dark so show them dark is not always scary by playing games in dark. You can decorate their room with glow stars or you can play with night lights or some glow toys.

Well everything is okay to do when your kid is really in need but don’t overdo anything as kids are simply attention seeker. Once they know you give lots of attention to certain things, they would come to you with the lie (though we don’t consider that as a lie) so don’t let it be their habit. To know more about kids and lie please refer article kids-never-lie-said-my-grandparents-then-why-my-kids-lie-to-me

It’s been more than a month to write and I am glad that finally I am back to my hobby. I believe every day in life teaches us something and so here I am ready to share my learning of a month.

Last one and half month was really busy and tiresome for me. I was truly occupied and stressed out (both mentally and physically). Due to back to back holidays in school I couldn’t concentrate on my writing and later one of my best friends and neighbor moved out. She was the one with whom I use to talk every day about everything and so it was really hard to say good bye to her. Our kids also shared very good friendship so my daughter too gone through the emotional flaw. And result I just been busy with taking care of her emotional flaws as well as mine.

You must be thinking how does all this relate to the kids’ bog? So answer is I learned the new way to control my temper; to deal with my mood swing and that’s what I am sharing here.

Of course I handled my daughter’s emotional flaw well and she quickly came out of all those things and made new friends (at this age it is really easy to forget the things) but it was me who couldn’t handle it and been really fussy. I became short tempered for a while and as a result I use to get angry on my kid without particular reason and that too many times in a day. I knew it wasn’t her fault but I just couldn’t help. Every night I use to promise myself that tomorrow will be different but nothing got changed. And I have decided to take my kid’s help to regain my composure.

Finally I talked to my 6 years old daughter and told her the truth that I am upset and I am really sorry for all these things. She listened it carefully ( even though she couldn’t understand many things) and simply agreed to help me with my mood swing.

Punishment given by my kid – Foster Feel

I and my daughter has decided to measure my mood by reward points. If I behave well she will give me a star and if I behave badly she will give me a sad smiley exactly the way I treat her. If I get more than 2 sad faces in a day she can punish me. And to my surprise it really worked!!!  First day I got 3 sad faces and she gave me a punishment which I carried our sincerely and from very next day I could control my temper just like before. Of course we did it for whole week but I regain my composure quickly. I never thought kids can help us like this!!!

Just like kids we too can control our behavior by reward points so whenever you feel you are not at your best just try it out. If your kid is elder than 5 they can help you with this which is truly amazing experience or you can measure your mistakes by yourself.

Here are some points which can help you to implement this exercise:

1. Be wise and accept your mistake.
2. Don’t feel embarrassed to carry out punishment instead feel sorry.
3. Your kids are basically helping you so don’t argue if they give you sad smiley for the small reason.
4. It may take time so be patient.
5. Give treat to your kids for their help.

I knew we can learn many things from kids but I never knew kids can help us to settle down our feelings too.  This will be beneficial for your kids too:

1. Your kids will feel special as you are taking their help.
2. It will add their confidence level.
3. They will become more positive towards life.
4. It will be indirect lesson for them to deal with their mood too.
5. It will lengthen your bond with your kids.

And I am telling all these from my own experience. So If you are going through the blue please try it out and have an incredible experience of parenting.