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Would Be Mummy

Pregnancy Tips or Myths

May 15, 2016 by Foster Feel 1 Comment

Pregnancy is an unforgettable time for every mother and that’s the reason they will be always ready with their tips(many times those are just myths) For example, oh wow are you pregnant? Congratulations. Now you should take care of your health; you should drink at least 3 cups of milk in a day; you should go for walk every day; you should not eat junk food; you should not wear heals; traveling is not safe for you and many more advises like these. For them these are concern and for would be mother it will become head ache. After all who will like all of sudden restrictions on their life? Big changes of your life and no matter how much prepared you were, you may get angry to accept these changes and that’s perfectly normal.

Well you should accept those tips or not it is up to you but at least think twice “is it really truth or myth” before implementing those on yourself.

Here we are discussing some of those Pregnancy Tips or Myths:

  • Pregnancy means a woman with a lemon in her hand: Craving for certain food in first trimester of pregnancy is very common. You may crave for sweets; you may crave for sour items; you may crave for spicy dishes or you may not crave at all. Everything is normal and everyone is different. We can’t measure pregnancy with a piece of tamarind or a lemon. Sour items are good to consume in nausea and/or vomiting which is very normal in first trimester and that’s why pregnant lady prefers to eat lemon with salt or tamarind during that period. So the truth is it is not a symbol of your pregnancy. If you crave for sour that’s okay but that doesn’t mean everyone will.
  • If you are suffering from heart burn in pregnancy, you are going to have hairy baby: Hormonal changes in pregnancy is a common cause of heart burn (also known as acidity). That doesn’t mean everyone will suffer from the same as well as it is not related to baby’s hair at all.
  • If you wish for a normal delivery, you should walk: Walking or any exercise (which is allowed in pregnancy) in limit is good for health but that’s not at all related to your delivery type. How will you deliver is depends on your health, your baby’s health and/or the situation of the time not on your exercise. Yes you can walk or choose any exercise which is allowed in pregnancy but only if your body permits. Don’t stretch your body just to have a normal delivery as it won’t matter at all.
  • You can’t do waxing in pregnancy: There is no reason to be hairy in pregnancy. You can wax your hands as well as your legs. Actually your baby makes space for her in your tummy by stretching your tummy and abdominal area and thus your skin near tummy and abdominal become thin and sensitive. So it is good to avoid full body wax.
  • You can’t apply mehandi or heena in baby shower: Baby shower is a dream for every mother and she wants to fulfill all of her wish during this function. Mehandi or heena contains some chemicals and any chemicals can cause reaction. Due to hormonal changes your body changed a lot and that’s why you may get reaction from that even if you never had before. This is the only reason to avoid heena or any chemicals. But yes you can always use mehandi stickers available in market and fulfill your wish.
  • You can’t wear fashion during pregnancy: This is totally wrong. Truth is you can, you just need to wear fashion with comfort. There is a classy range of maternity clothes available in the market and you will be fully flattered to see the collection. Go and shop some comfort fashion for you and enjoy it. If you are kind of shy, you can even use designer scarf to cover your bump. yes you should avoid heals but you may replace it with fashionable flats or belly shoes which are really cool as well as comfortable.
  • You can’t travel in pregnancy: Yes you should limit your travelling or you may need to restrict your travelling depends on your health during pregnancy. But again this is individual situation, some may travel a lot; some may travel a little or some may not travel at all. It is better to avoid unnecessary travelling during pregnancy but that doesn’t mean you should be locked in your house at all. You can if your body permits. For more read the article Pregnancy and travelling
  • You should say NO to Chinese food: Actually it is not about Chinese food it is about the ajinomoto used in most of the Chinese dishes. Avoid ajinomoto in your ingredients and enjoy the meal.
  • You will never get the normal body later: What is normal? Are you having the same body you had at sweet 16? Did you hold the same cuteness of your childhood even after teenage? No right? Then why are you expecting the same body after your pregnancy? Every age and every phase of life changes you more or less and you should accept the way it comes. That’s the beauty of life. Leave the worries behind and enjoy the motherhood with new shape, new feelings and new dream.

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Reading time: 4 min
Toddler To preschooler

Love your kid enough to say NO

May 8, 2016 by Foster Feel 1 Comment

Saying No is always difficult especially to the kids, for whom we wish to give the whole world at their feet. But at the same time it’s important too.

Recently when I asked to a kid “Tell me the best thing you like about your parents” and her reply was “They buy whatever I ask for” and added I don’t see any other good thing in my parents.

From this example you can see the parents who buy everything for their kids are also not hero for them. If you wish to satisfy your kids’ need with the things, you will never get success as there is no such thing available other than love.

This is not the only reason to say No to the kids. See the list:

  • To teach them the lesson of satisfaction: If you will give them all the things they want, they will never be happy with the things they have. They will always expect more and nothing will make it up to their satisfaction. And at the end s/he will be the one holding whole world in her/his fingertips without knowing the happiness of those things. I am sure you choose to say yes to make them happy but if they are not happy what is the meaning of your yes or even No.
  • To make them independent: If they ask for 3 things and you buy all those that’s okay if you are fine with that but what if they ask for 10 things? No offence if you want to buy all of those but have you ever tried to ask your kid to choose 5 from those 10 things or 1 from those 3 things? Try it not because you don’t want to buy that but it’s important to see how nicely they can take the decision. These small decisions will lead them to take big decisions wisely and easily.
  • To teach them the value of the things: It is very important to be happy with the things we have and that they can’t learn if you will give everything to them. Show them how lucky they are to have these things; how lucky they are to have you and your love and to show them you need to show them how lucky you are to have them and the things you have.
  • To teach them importance of money: Nothing is free in the world and it will never be. Today you are for them tomorrow can be different. So teach them the importance of money; of course not before the age 6 but yes at age 3 you can introduce the earning concept that will slowly turned to money concept. You need to give a star or a smiley for each good deed or good behavior and when they collect 10 stars or smileys they earn a chocolate or a coin. It’s simple and will satisfy your motive too.
  • To teach them how to wait for the things patiently: To get 10 stars or 10 smileys is not a one day task and for that they have to wait and that’s how they will learn to have patience. They know they will get it later and they know they earned it so happiness will be doubled and your aim will be achieved. Later they can easily wait for a toy or a dress or whatever you wish for.

And for all these you have to say NO. Of course I never can agree to simply saying “No you can’t get it”.  That’s perfectly wrong but yes you can say No wisely. You can say No even without using the word No and that’s the best way.

Key factors to say NO wisely:

  • If you can say No Without using the word NO that’s cool: The word No is very powerful. Once you speak it rest becomes meaningless, even your reasoning. At the same time when you mean NO without using the world No it leaves more effect. For example, you can say “sweetie we can’t buy the things we have” or “we have to choose one, we can’t buy all”.
  • Don’t say No for everything: Teaching them to deal with No doesn’t mean to say No for everything. To teach them the real meaning of No, you should avoid saying NO unless and until it is important. If you will say No every time they will consider it as your habit only.
  • No means No: Once you said No do not change the decision because 1. They will get confuse with your decision making problem. 2. It will give them hope to change your decision. 3. If you won’t change your decision later it will hurt them badly because of your unpredictable mood.
  • Give age appropriate justification of your No: Don’t go in detail description rather choose age appropriate reasoning. At the same time don’t just simply say No because you choose that. Who are you? You can’t simply control them.
  • Give little freedom to over go your NO, make mistake and learn from it: If you have said do not pull the table cloth and if they did it and made everything messy, take it easy. Let them help you in clean up and let them understand why did you say that. This way they will learn to deal with their mistakes as well as they will have faith in you and your No. Making mistake is not bad not learning from that is bad and that’s what you need to learn and teach too.
  • Give your presence more than your present: When you will say “we can’t buy that doll today” and if you are expecting in return “okay dad love you” then of course you are dreaming. They will feel bad and they may show some tantrum in initial phase or they may tell you the above phrase (if they are in good mood) but for that you have to spend some quality time to know your kid. Talk to them often and show them how much important they are. Best thing you can give your kid is TIME. Things you brought for them may give the happiness for a moment but the time you spend with them will cherish them throughout the life.

The key to deal with No is your Love. “Love your kids enough to say no” when I read this line I truly flattered by the author’s thinking. True, nothing can replace the No other than Love. If you will love your kid enough then s/he won’t mind for couple of NO and truly accept it with understanding.

Love Lough And Live

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Reading time: 5 min
Would Be Mummy

Pregnancy Troubles & Solutions

April 30, 2016 by Foster Feel 1 Comment

Pregnancy is a beautiful journey for every mother. As every best thing cannot be achieved without struggle, pregnancy also comes with its own troubles and solutions. Well those are troubles if you say so but I would like to call them challenges; challenges to make you stronger and patient, challenges to get best of you, challenges to reward you by the best thing in the world.

Pregnancy throws many challenges towards mother and most of the time she can handle it successfully. Yes I agree many challenges are really tough and need lots of patience but at the same time many are really mild.  Good thing is all these are just temporary!!! Some lasts for weeks, some lasts for months but when time comes all will be gone like never happened before. Some leaves their trails and some simply disappears but yes all leaves its fragrance in your mind.

Here are some of pregnancy troubles and solutions to deal with it:

  • Mood swing: Starts in first trimester and it may get worst in third trimester. Yoga or meditation is good option to deal with this and can be cope up easily if you are surrounded by empathetic people. You can try to control it up to certain limit but of course can’t get rid of it so soon. Take it easy and enjoy the moment; you never know one day you may laugh on all these behavior!!!
  • Nausea or vomiting: Troubles you most in first trimester; later it will visit you occasionally. Well the truth is you can’t control it so just try to find out the food or smell causing the nausea and omit it. Have some sour and salty things like lemon or tamarind with salt; it will ease you for a time. This is timely issue and will go by the end of 3rd month.
  • Tiredness: Appears in first trimester and at most in third trimester. Drink lots of water, have nutritious food and take frequent break from the work. Listen to your body and don’t stretch unnecessarily.
  • Abdominal pain: Mostly troubles you during first and/or third trimester. You can easily deal with it if you will listen to your body and take timely break from your work and chores.
  • Craving for food: This will bother you only in first trimester. Well I believe this is the time to pamper yourself so go on and fulfill your need.
  • Heart burn: Heart burn or acidity will arise in first trimester and may sustain till the end (more or less). If you are dealing with this try to eat in bowl (eat little and eat frequently). Cold water, cold milk, vanilla ice cream and ice are good option to consume in this condition. Eat before you get hungry. If its severer you may take pantoprazole (If your doctor permits).
  • Gas / constipation: This can emerge at any time but mostly bothers you in second trimester. Avoid the food which can cause gas/constipation and add more fiber in your diet. Increase fluid intake and do not ever take stool softeners without asking your doctor. You can take tums if you want.
  • Body ache: Mostly troubles you in third trimester. Lower back pain and legs cramping are very common. Warm water bath is good option to relax your body.
  • Swelling: If your legs can’t fit in your old shoes, don’t think it will never be. This is due to swelling and will go after your delivery. Swollen legs are very common but at the same time swollen hands or any body parts are normal. Take frequent break, drink lots of water and free your legs whenever you get time.
  • Sleepless Nights: Troubles you most in third trimester and you may pass nights in rolling over the bed (in fact rolling is also troublesome as you can’t change your position easily). Get the maternity pillow to ease your body. If possible try to finish your sleep in morning hours. Frequent power naps are also helpful.
  • Varicose veins: Varicose veins are swollen veins that you can see just under your skin. Mostly occurs in legs but can form in other body parts too. Sometimes cause mild pain and mostly seen in third trimester. Take frequent break to free your legs. Long socks or stocking are not only good to hide it but also increase blood circulation and help you to get rid of it.
  • Gestational Diabetes: You will come to know by end of second trimester and you can control it by proper diet and/or medication offered by your doctor. Add walnut or any dry fruits in your each meal. Don’t forget to take a walk after meal. Mostly disappears after delivery but it may come back in future.

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Reading time: 3 min
Toddler To preschooler

How to teach your chatter box to take a pause?

April 22, 2016 by Foster Feel 1 Comment

One year walking and two years talking – Most common phrase we use for kids milestone. But what comes after two???

At two kids start learning words and by three they become master in day to day words. Three is the year when they learn to use sentences (of course the known one only) and the cutest thing is at three they will start repeating you and all.

Don’t get surprise if they throw back your own sentences and thus think twice before you speak. I still remember my daughter calling me megha, meggie, janu and many more just because my husband liked to call those names!!! So Beware and choose your words carefully.

At 4 kids learn more words and they try to use each and every word they came across at its max. Funniest thing is they use same word in every second sentence throughout the week!!!  That’s the way they get command on words. How can I forget the fondness of “either me” (my daughter loved it).

And at 5 they become master in talking. Of course they make grammatical mistakes but they can make an understandable conversation.

  

Well the good thing is they are learning, they are communicating and they are becoming social by their talk. Then what is the issue?

Well at 3 when they repeated or copied your sentences they looked cute; at 4 when they repeated same words everywhere they looked funny but now at 5 when they show their talking power now and then, sometimes only sometimes you will feel helpless. You want peace for few minutes and thus you want them to shut their mouth at least for a minute but the truth is they can’t!!!

They are master in talking and so they will keep talking all the times. That may bother you sometimes and you really want them to be quite at least for few minutes (or only for few minutes as they can’t be quite more than 3-5 minutes). And that’s why we call them chatter box or in better words master in talking.

If their nonstop talk doesn’t bother you, I must say you are the best but still you need to focus on what are they talking about. Are they talking on relevant topic or they are adding something just because they want to speak. For them they are getting best in talking and that’s why they need guidance, guidance to understand when to speak; guidance to understand what to speak and guidance to understand when to be quite. Of course the last one is tricky.

What is chatter box?

we consider a kid as a chatterbox when 1. S/he speaks nonstop 2. S/he speaks just because s/he wants to speak 3. S/he doesn’t allow others to speak 4. s/he is not ready to wait for others to finish.

Talking to kids is always fun but at the same time we should make sure that they speaks relevant thing. If you have asked “how your school was” and you are getting in return “today Ishita didn’t come” that’s okay but if they reply you with “they like pink doll” that’s irrelevant and you must work on that. If they speak nonstop to answer you is fine until its relevant to the topic but its not good if they start adding their own sentences just to pull the conversation.

  • Don’t let them pull the conversation just because they want to talk. Rather you can tell them it seems talking about school is finish then we can talk on some different thing if you want.
  • Answer of question should be straight, if not explain them the best way to answer by repeating their answer in better words.
  • If you and your partner (or friend) are in conversation and they talk in-between, let them know that they too can wait. And saying “excuse me” is wiser.
  • If they speak all the home things out and put you in embarrassing situation, introduce the concept of top secret (fun for them but always work for us). Explain what we can share with everyone and what with parents only.

How to teach your chatter box to take a pause:

Of course we don’t want them to stop talking forever but yes we want them to take a break from that. There is nothing bad in that in fact it is good to teach them to listen as well. After all it is easier to teach a child than it is to fix a broken adult.

  • Introduce quite time for all: In your routine add 3-5 minutes quite time for all. For example every day after dinner every one should seat together without saying a word for 5 minutes. If you think this is impossible then let me remind you when we all were kid we too played the game of “who is the parrot here”. If you will take it as a fun they too will take it as a fun and result they will learn it even faster.
  • Time for observation: During a day time ask them to be quite till the timer rings and observe the surrounding things. At the end tell them to state 5 sentences about their observation. Take a turn and make it fun.
  • Game to listen: Try and listen the surrounding sounds which you can hear if you are quite only. Take turns and count who can recognize more sounds. For example, sounds of fan, water tap, Air-conditioner,wall clock or even washing m/c beep.
  • Go for nature: Take them to garden or near by walking trails. Ask them to listen different sounds and guess from where the sound is coming from and what can it be. For example, sound of waterfall, rustling sound of leaves, chirp of birds, wind howls, Fluttering sound of butterflies or even their own tapping sound. Early morning or evening is best for these.
  • Sooth with music: At the time of bed play some classical music or lullabies. It will sooth their mind and makes them calm.
  • Listen and make them listen: don’t interrupt them if they are telling you something, let them finish first even if their topic is not important. Let them complete, respond to their talk and then start your topic.
  • Teach with symbol: Decorate their room with the symbol of quietness, poster with keep silence phrases or handmade drawing. This will help them to understand the importance of quietness.
  • Limit Television: Limit Television especially the noisy programs. Limit television after late evening so they can get time to soothe their mind before going to bed.
  • Yoga or meditation: Introduce kids’ yoga or meditation and do it together every morning or in weekends. It helps to ease their body and mind.
  • Don’t forget to admire: Give appraisal for their each and every try even if they don’t succeed. Give time, make fun and learn to be quiet together.

“Listening more and result speaking less” suits perfectly here. We can’t tell them talking too much is bad but we can teach them listening is also interesting. Once they will start listening they will surely take a pause from their nonstop chattering.

All The Best 

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Reading time: 6 min
Toddler To preschooler

Do you measure fluid intake of your kid while on vacation???

April 15, 2016 by Foster Feel 1 Comment
Image Source : Google

Image Source : Google

Singing loud enough to tell everyone…..Summer’s just begun…….

What a lovely song and of course what a lovely summer!!!  Summer means vacation time, time for fun; time to explore; time for awaiting trips and tours and many more. Exciting and with kids even more adventurous.

When we plan vacation with kids we focus on many things from packing to medication, from food to shoes, from comfort to entertainments and these concerns won’t get over until we head back. While on vacation we focus more on kids but sometimes we forget to focus on daily fluid intake of kids without knowing that that can turn out to the big mistake.

Recently I was on vacation with my 5 years old daughter. The place where we have been is quite hot compare to the place we stay. As that is our native place I didn’t think of heat and all and treated my daughter the same way I treat her at our home. Of course I focused on her food, her routine but I forgot to focus on her fluid intake. My daughter is like she won’t ask for water until you offer her and I gave her the way I usually give her at our home. But here the place was different; we visited it after a quite long so we roamed here and there too. Actually she needed more fluid than normal because of extra walking, extra physical exercise, bit change in routine and the heat but I offered her even little bit lesser than I used to. Result she got sick really sick.

Foster Feel

Foster Feel

First few days she enjoyed there a lot and then slowly she got tired (the way she never use to be). As she is always energetic we all noticed that and tried to focus on her health by offering her more settled routine and nutritious food but the idea of water didn’t strike to me even at that time and that made it even worse. She got really sick by the time I understood and result she had to pass through all the painful medical processes like blood tests urine tests etc. and that too twice in less than 24 hrs.

Well As we are from doctor family it wasn’t that tough but still to see your kid in pain is always difficult. My most energetic all the times full on mischief girl was down, really down she couldn’t even able to seat for a minute and that made every one worried.

Well I believe when end is good all is good and so I am glad to say she is perfectly fine now and here I am writing this post to share few mistakes which I made because I feel parents should know that to avoid this kind of situation, after all learning from someone’s mistake is better than suffering especially when it’s about your kid.

  • I focused on her routine; I focused on her food but didn’t focus on her fluid intake. I knew she was not taking enough fluid but I ignored I thought it is okay I will cover it up once I will be back home.
  • When first time I saw her little bit low I thought it is because of change in food style, extra walk (than routine) or change in sleep pattern as normally at home I put her on bed before 8 and there she used to sleep by 10 (even though I made sure she gets her full 12 hrs sleep). I tried to fix those things and didn’t think about water intake even for a second.
  • I encouraged her to explore the nature the way we enjoyed as kids rather to limit it. I allowed her to eat fruits and vegetables directly from the farm, I allowed her to drink water from well and I allowed her to play in pond either. I forgot that we were doing those because we were doing those every day and for these kids it’s all new. They are raised in different climate with different life style and so sudden change may affect them.
  • When first time she complained about head ache, I thought she must be tired and she should take rest, I didn’t realize that head ache is not common in kids!!! And within just 1 hr her health got worst.

We don’t know really what had happened to her? Was it heat stroke or was it some sort of infection or dehydration (as not fully dehydrated). But we knew one thing that it’s all because of 1. She couldn’t tolerate the heat 2. Lack of fluid

With the prescribed medicine doctor suggested us to offer her lots of liquids and to put her in AC all the times with 27 to 28 degree temperature set. And that really worked just in 1 day!!!

Do you want to measure fluid intake of your kid while on vacation? Here are tips to help you :

  • Keep the water bottle handy all the times.
  • Offer water after every half an hour. It is okay if they take just few sips.
  • Offer a small glass of juice or buttermilk with meal.
  • Add juicy fruits like grapes, oranges, watermelon etc. in menu.
  • Don’t forget to give water before going to bed and once they get up from the bed.
  • Normal water or cold water is better than chilled one.
  • If you think your kids are still not having enough fluids offer them ice or even jelly (not nutritious but it’s okay to give junk food some times).

Do you measure fluid intake of your kid while on vacation? if yes that’s really great and if no better to start now as there is never late to start a good thing.

Have A Happy Summer Have A Happy Vacation

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Reading time: 4 min
Cute Conversations

Happy & Her “Good Bye” to Dadi

April 12, 2016 by Foster Feel 2 Comments
Reader's Photo

Reader’s Photo

Once I went to my Mother’s home for vacation. There is my 6 years old niece Happy and they were going out of station for 3 days.

She came to me and said “Fiya, please don’t go to your home for 3 days as I, Mamma, Papa and Khushi are not at home. So Dadi (grandma) will be alone at home and she may get scared.”

I answered (just to tease her) “I have to go as my husband is calling me back. I can’t stay here anymore.”

She thought for a while and asked my mother (like she has strike with a brilliant idea) “Dadi do one thing.  You go to your brother’s (Mummy’s) home but don’t stay alone at home. And if you are alone there and see any stranger coming call out loudly for Papa or Mamma just to pretend that you are not alone, then that stranger will run away and will not hurt you.”

Then she touched my mother’s feet and said “GOOD BYE, DADI.” And made my mother’s eyes moist.

Awe such a caring girl. This experience reminds me why Kids’ love is greater than all other love. Thank you very much Disha Patel for sharing your heart touching experience with us.

We are inviting cute conversation from all the parents. You can write your experience to fosterfeel@gmail.com with the *name, age and photo of your kid and we will publish it on forstefeel.com/cute_conversation/ on every Tuesday.

*If you don’t want to reveal the identity of you and your kid, we will be happy to accept the experience with age of your kid.

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Reading time: 1 min
Toddler To preschooler

How to make fruitful conversation with kids

March 4, 2016 by Foster Feel 2 Comments

Once I wanted to explain something to my 5 years old daughter and so I called her “come here baby we need to talk.” The following conversation happened.

Mom: Why do you eat these many biscuits at aunt’s (my neighbor) home? Do you know you are eating biscuits since last 8 days. Is it good thing?”

Swara: But aunty likes to share with me. If I will say no she will feel bad.

Mom: No, she will feel good if you will say no to junk food.

Swara: But I like biscuits.

Mom: Then eat at our home.

Swara: But doctor said no biscuits then how can I eat those at our home?

Mom: Then why do you eat at aunt’s house?

Swara: Because you said sometimes it’s okay

Mom: only sometimes dear

Swara : 8 is sometimes only. 100 is big I will not eat for 100 days mom.

Mom: See baby you can taste food at someone’s house you cannot fill your tummy with that.

Swara : Oh but when I don’t eat food in potluck you ask me to eat properly.

Mom:  That was potluck.  In potluck we share food with each other and eat together. Those are healthy food too.

Swara: You mean I can eat healthy food from aunt’s house?

Mom: ok baby I need a break we will talk tomorrow about this!!!

I was fully confused with her arguments which were definitely not beyond the topic. Later I reviewed whole conversation and I understood it wasn’t her fault. She is a kid and kid will surely think differently and try to find the link between all the things. It was me who started conversation with wrong phrase.

If I would have said “When we go to visit someone we should not eat too much. People like to offer the food but guests should not finish it off. So now onward don’t eat all the food offered by aunt.” Then I could have omitted previous arguments.

The way I talked for the first time was confusing and so she added her own thoughts. This is the common mistakes we do when we try to explain something to our kids. Either we explain in depth or we keep it open to add the ends.

It will be easier if we are clear with what we want to convey.

And thus here I am writing this article for me to remind myself how to make fruitful conversation with kids without welcoming unnecessary arguments and for the parents who too are facing the same issue.

Take Time: Take time to think what you want to talk. Think twice is it really necessary to talk on that topic or it is just a matter of a day. Because sometimes we make an issue from the small thing as we are unnecessarily worried about people but actually it is not at all important.

For example: If your kid fights with his/her best friend during play date for a toy, it is okay. Let them resolve their issue and wait for them to come to you if they want. Otherwise leave it as it’s not that much important.  Sometimes kids fight on silly things and they forget it in couple of minutes itself. Don’t try to interfere and leave the command to make them independent.

Be Clear: Be clear on what you really what to convey. Just look at my whole conversation and you will get the answer. In first conversation I was not at all clear and thus confused my daughter with 1. She should not eat junk food. 2. She should not eat at someone else house. 3. She should not eat biscuits everyday.

Later I focused on “she should not finish the food offered by host” and that really worked.

Make the statement properly. Don’t think s/he is just a kid so you can go and talk just like that without preparation. In fact kids mind runs a lot so beware of it. One mistake and your point will be ruined.

Choose one: If you have multiple things to tell please choose one of those for one time and stack remaining for later. If you will tell them all together they won’t understand any of it or won’t remember any of it just after the conversation.

Keep it simple:  It is important to be clear and make the statement to share with your kid in a language (according to age) that s/he can understand. Keep it simple and straight. Your statement should not be with open ends so s/he can add on that. Don’t go in deep explanation even though they ask. You can answer them its good manner or bad manner just the way you state “you should not play with food.”

Set the example: Try to follow your own statements. If you forget sometimes and your kids catch you for that, don’t forget to admit your mistake.

For example if you eat 4 chocolates at your best friend’s house and your kid catches you, you can tell him/her “oops where are my manners?”  I will be careful now.

Accept your mistake: If they don’t tell you at that time and remind you later about your 4 chocolates accept the mistake. Do not give reasoning as if you will give reasoning they too will give you reasoning which will be arguments for you. Because at the end for kids all the cases are same. If you can’t eat at one host you should definitely not eat at other host.  So leave the explanation for later and accept the mistake with yes that was not good of me. Next time I will try to remember this. Thank you for reminding me.

Motivate with your own mistakes: Motivate with your own stories. Tell the stories of your childhood, what mistakes you made and how your parents corrected you. Of course the way could be different but trust me they will surely understand the thing which you really want to tell them. And if you think it wasn’t a best way to teach you the matter modify your story with the best way.

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