What is kid? You may think what kind of question is this? Kid means kid, a child. But no, kid doesn’t mean just a child. Kid is a combination of soft sweet heart with little naughtiness to spread smile in the world. Kid is one who can surprise you every day with his/her sweet talk and curious mind. Kid is a one who can be happy with just a small star sticker on his/her hand. Kid is a one who cries when party goes over. Kid is a one who can stop crying when you offer a candy!!!

Do you know why? Answer is very simple. Because kids are innocent.

But sometimes they behave differently, a good different something similar to you!!! For example, one day they come to you and say mama I got two same gifts so you can give one of them to someone who really needs it!!! We feel proud when our kids do something very good like this. We appreciate that with wow my kid is big boy/girl now!!!

Take a moment and think is s/he really a big enough? Revise the incident with their reaction and rethink is it okay for this age? Am I not forcing them to react like a big girl/boy by words or behavior?

Good behavior is good if it comes with innocence but what if it comes with over maturity? Maturity comes with age and it should not come before the time or else it will abstract beauty of your kid, it will steal your kid’s childhood and it will kill your kid’s innocence.

Here we will discuss what to expect and what not from kids to secure their innocence.

• When you say I am having head ache and your kid try to massage your head for a minute and asks are you feeling better now? That shows their love and concern for you and that’s their innocence.

But when you say I am having headache, you go and play in your room and they don’t show up even once in one hour then that’s not kid!!! I know you will feel peace for this but this won’t be beneficial in near future.

• When you say please be quite to your chatter box and they really are quite for couple of minutes that’s more than enough. They will surely speak something after 1 or 2 minutes and that’s the way they should be; forgettable and free…..that makes them sweet and charming.

But if they really be quite until you initiate the talk then that’s not kid.

• If your kid is more in fashion that’s really good that s/he understands it at this age but if s/he don’t use much colors or mismatch and follows the concept of matching then you are surely missing his/her childhood. If your child compares his/her look with you then this is the time for you to take a break and think about her childhood.

For kids colors and favorites are beautiful not look!!! They feel they look beautiful as well as all. And that should be that way only.

• When your kid is ready to give everything to someone if asked then also it’s not good as that means 1. She is not attached to anything 2. She might be afraid of you 3. She is over matured. Well it’s okay if s/he is not ready to share sometimes or something.

You should respect their feeling for that. At the end they will surely learn the concept of give and get.

• It is perfectly fine if your kid cries when party goes over or when guests leave your house. This shows their affection for people. And that is really good sign. Don’t scold or use harsh words for this behavior or else either they will stop sharing their feelings with you or they will be carefree from people.

• If your kid talks in playground and can’t focus on play due to that; that’s their innocence. Encourage them to focus on play but don’t force them for that as sports they will surely learn later but this innocence won’t come again.

• If your kid understands people are more important than gifts, that is really good. But if they don’t wait for gift or they don’t feel excited by gifts then that’s not kid.

Kids’ reactions are good if and only if its age appropriate. If your kid shows over maturity then that too is not good as s/he will defiantly learn to react like a grown up one day but this is their only chance to react and behave like a kid, little naughty and little sweet.

This doesn’t mean you should not appreciate your kid when they behave well but yes don’t try to teach all at this age. Sometimes it’s good to hide few things when we know it’s not their age. Your explanation should be in brief only. Detail description steals their innocence, drop their imagination and make them mature than their age.

Do you want to test whether your kid is innocent or not?

Try small tricks when they are crying and if they start laughing or smiling in couple of seconds than you are on right path as kids are those who can cry and laugh together and if your kid can not do that, that means  you are stealing their childhood.

2 to 7 years age is really important to make them confident, test their limits, and explore their emotions. so just try to guide them to use their emotions in better way rather to stop it.

Don’t force them to learn anything before age as even god gifted over talented kids cannot have a normal lives.

My favorite Me Time – Sand Play to refresh my mind

7 am milk 10 am breakfast 12 pm lunch 3pm milk 5pm fruit 6pm dinner 7pm sleep strict routine for me and my kid …….always busy in house hold chores and family life. I want to go out for dinner but can’t as I have to put my little one on bed by 7pm. I want to go for movie on Saturday but can’t because need to attend some family function. Where I am and what am I doing??? I feel like I am stuck somewhere and want to run away from this. But can’t just can’t. In 5 years at least 50 times I felt to run away from all these!!!

This doesn’t mean I don’t like to do all these things or I don’t love my kid and family but yes sometime I really want a break from all the responsibilities and want to live life freely ….I want to sleep as much as I want; I want to watch late night movie and I want to go for night outs too…..wish list will go on and on

Who knows me or read my articles won’t believe this as for all of them I am very much patient and content but truth is I too become impatient sometimes. But I know how to regain my composure. What I need in these conditions is inner peace and I get that from “Me Time” and that’s why I am writing this article for those parents (especially my readers) for whom I am tickled pink.

What is Me Time

Time that you spend for yourself and with yourself is called Me Time.

Why Me Time is important

Your days start with the kid and end up with kid. If you are working, with office and kid but in both the case you are living same routine life every day and thus your heart demands for a change and Me Time provides you that change. With Me Time you will feel relaxed and satisfied and so you will enjoy with the routine things.

What can I do in Me Time

Me Time is a time when you can be with yourself and engage yourself with your favorite activity. You can fulfill your wish list or you can just relax.

Me Times includes anything and everything that can make you happy.

How to steal Me Time

I am sure now you are ready with your Me Time plan but the question is how? You know what do you want to do but how can you get time for that? Well here we are sharing few ideas to steal Me Time to give you reference.

1. When you go to mall, ask your partner to go to kids’ area with your kid and enjoy shopping in different stores.
2. Enroll your kid in sports class and have fun with your book in that spare time.
3. Take a tour to kids’ friendly store like cross word or Barnes & Noble and feel free.
4. Always put your kid on bed before 8 so you can have a late night call or TV time to freshen up your mind.
5. Skip cooking for a day and clean your wardrobe or decorate your room or house.
6. Set a baby sitter for couple of hours and go for movie.
7. Leave your kids with your parents and go for a date to have a wonderful time as before.
8. Hand over your kid to your partner and go for spa to relax your body and mind.
9. Get up early and have a cup of coffee in garden with fresh air to rejoice your mind.
10. Get ready in different dresses and click some photos to get smile on your face.

Why without kid

Do you think your partner likes to do all the things which you do? Of course not then how a kid can like all these things. So leave your kids at home let them enjoy and you too enjoy with yourself.

Of course you can do all this with your kid but trust me without kid having fun with your self is more refreshing and will help you to be content. So when actually you have to be with your kids, you can enjoy thoroughly with them and won’t feel helpless or impatient with their crazy behavior.

How much time I should spend for me time

As much as you can but at least half an hour every day and 2 to 3 hrs weekly. If you can have both that’s reward for you.

When can I start

If you want you can start from the first day of delivery but if you can’t don’t wait for more than a year. Kids are big responsibility so take a break to enjoy the responsibility.

Still It is better late than never

There is nothing secret about a great parent. It is all about to stay calm and patient and it’s easy to achieve with Me Time. So try to steal Me Time and be a great parent.

When I asked “what is the toughest thing to raise your kid?” most of the parents shared the common answer “To feed my kid”.

True!!! Feeding kid is tough no matter what is the age of your kid!!! Every age has its own issues with food and every age has its own solutions too. Here are 8 rules to feed your kids (ages 2 years to 7 years) without mess and mental stress.

Image source Google

First and foremost rule Rule # 1: Spend more time on dining table than spending time in kitchen.

For grown ups food is fun but for kids it is not.  Reason is simple; kids don’t have much knowledge about food and taste and result less interest. For this age group there is no need to think what they like or not as they too really don’t have idea about their choice. Today fried rice can be their favorite and tomorrow omelet. No consistency in favorite not because their choice has changed but because they don’t know the real taste and meaning of “what is called my favorite”!!!! Can’t agree? Try telling your kid I love okra I love okra and see how your kid will start loving okra in just 15 to 20 days.

Well my point is don’t spend too much time in kitchen to cook your kids’ favorite food instead choose couple of healthy recipe of your choice and spend some time with your kid on dining table to feed him. Talk with your kid, sing rhyme, tell story, enjoy the table games and enjoy the meal.

Hot roti (bread) is not necessary for kids. It’s your belief that cold roti (bread) doesn’t taste good but actually truth is if you have good company you can eat anything and everything and so the kids. Give your company and serve the plate full of fun and food.

Rule # 2: Eat together 

No one likes to eat alone and so the kids. Best way to feed your kid is feed with family. If you will eat together they will observe you and copy you. And that’s the perfect way to teach them table manners.

Seat together and start the food at the same time. You eat and feed your kid too. Encourage them to eat by themselves. It is very common that you will finish your food first. Help your kid to eat once you are done and make the meal time interesting.

Rule # 3: Fix the menu – prediction makes possible

Prediction makes life easier and acceptable even though it is not of your choice. Fix the daily menu. That will help your kid to accept the food and that decreases unnecessary demands. Of course you can offer his/her favorite food as a treat of the day to reward good behavior but not always. This will help you in two ways 1. Decreases meal time battle 2. Reward will encourage them to stay in discipline.

Rule # 4: Stick to 3

Multiple choices create confusion. Number 3 is perfect for kids. More will confuse them and less will reduce options and/or nutrition. Every time offer 3 different things to eat and let them choose the quantity of the same. If they like let them eat the amount they want and if not encourage them to taste it.

My house rule is “if you like eat more and if you don’t eat a spoon.”

Choose healthy food which contains protein grain and vitamins. Add more fruits and vegetable in diet. Don’t forget to serve in 3 partition plate or bowl. If you have more categories to serve, you can combine two together so for your kid it will become 3 only. For example, if I have cooked lentil rice roti (bread) and vegetable, I would mix rice with lentil and serve roti (bread) vegetables and mixture of lentil and rice. And if I have cooked only rice I would prefer to serve it with salad and curd so at the end it will serve 3 to my kid.

Rule # 5: Serve half Feed full

If you know your kid eats two table spoons of rice in one meal divide it in half. First serve one table spoon and when your kid finish it give high five and appreciate him. Offer second table spoon. More appreciation more enjoyment. And because of this someday they will ask for 3rd table spoon too!!! So basically you are serving less and they are eating more.

Don’t forget to use kids’ spoon (small) to feed your kid. Encourage them to clean the plate but don’t force too much to finish all.

Rule # 6: Meal at meal time only

Set the meal time for your kid. Normally we offer 3 big and 3 small meals in a day for this age group.  If they miss or eat less during one they can cover it up in next meal time. So forget the concept of offering food after half an hour or so just because you think that they hadn’t enough because at end this kind of extra care will encourage their picky behavior.

They should know this is the meal time and after that they are not going to get it. Let them understand that if they are hungry they have to eat now or have to wait till next meal time. And as a result they will first fulfill their hunger and then think of something else!!!

25 to 30 minutes are enough to finish one meal and so set the timer of 25-30 minutes. Feed them during that time and once timer rings clean up the table and let them wait for next meal time.

Same rule applies if they get down from the chair or play with food or spit up. We want to make fun here but of course not with the food.

Rule #  7: Make the mealtime marvelous

Well as I said Table games are must. TV is okay up to 2 years but later if you would go with TV or mobile they will never learn how to enjoy meal. There are lots of table games like spy the color, tell me the riddle, count with me, memory game, say the rhyming word as well as simple talk to rhyme and story. Choose according to your comfort and choice and enjoy the time with your kid.

Rule # 8: Concern but don’t complain

Kids are weekly eater.  That means they manage their appetite in a week.  Some days they eat a lot and some days very less. Don’t worry if your pediatrician doesn’t concern about your kid’s weight as at the end of the week they will surely eat the right amount of food to feed their body.

No one can improve with negativity so never say you didn’t eat properly or anything like that instead praise when they eat well and encourage the good behavior.

Have A Happy Meal Time

When I asked coupe of parents “when do you get angry on your kids?” I got different replies like “when my kids don’t listen to me”, “when my kids don’t eat properly”, “when my kids tease me a lot”, “when my kids make noise” and many more. To satisfy myself I asked again “How many times your kids don’t listen to you or don’t eat well or tease you in a week and how many times you get angry because of that?” and the answer was “out of 10 average 3 times parents get angry for these kind of kids behavior!!!” then what about remaining 7? Read the story and you will get the answer…..

There was a party in our house. I and my husband both were busy in preparation of guest’s list menu venue and lot related to that. I was writing guests’ list when my daughter asked for the same pen I was using. As I was busy I simply said “no baby go and get the pen from pen stand”. She was fascinated by the pen in my hand so she urged for that pen only and my husband got angry “mama told you once get the pen from pen stand then why are you teasing her?”

Do you think here we got angry because of my kid’s behavior? No we got angry because we were busy!!!

Well the point is we could avoid this by simply exchanging pen with her but we didn’t as we were busy with lots of things like party office and house hold chores.

So actually the truth is we don’t get angry on kid’s behavior, we get angry because of our circumstances. Don’t agree? Let me explain here When do we get angry on kids? And I am sure you will agree to these points.

Hectic schedule: When we are really stuck in office work, house hold chores or some other to do things, a small mistake of kids’ are enough to make us scream on them. When we are busy, our mind just want to complete the task as quickly as possible and kid’s interruption cause delay in that and result we get angry!!!

Mental stress: When we are not in good mood or when we want to place our point but no one is ready to listen, we get angry on kid. For example when in office our boss screams on us or in house our parents say something which we don’t agree but can’t resist them because we respect them, we finally yell on our kids.

Illness: Pain is something which we can’t control. And because of that we try to control rest of the things. For example when we are ill like cold cough or headache noise irritates us a lot but the same noise doesn’t bother us in normal days. So When we are sick we scold our kids for all the small silly mistakes.

Dissatisfaction: When we are not satisfied with our work (In house or office) or with our lives, we get frustrated and that frustration comes out in terms of scream (on kids). We want to change the things but can’t and when we can’t find the way we scream.

Can’t get Me Time: When we can’t get “Me Time” to conquer ourselves, we get angry. All of us want to do one thing in a day (watching tv or any kind of hobby) which can makes us happy and if consistently we can’t do that we feel helpless and result we scream on kids.

Well There is nothing wrong or right about getting angry on kids for these reasons but yes if we want we can control this as at the end it will hurt us only.

Whenever you are in above situation and can’t handle your stress just take a moment and ask yourself “Am I really angry on my kid?” and I am sure you will be able to control yourself in this one moment as your heart don’t really want to do this.

Well sometimes we can’t control our temper and we scream. For this I suggest say yourself” it’s okay”. don’t let your frustration turns into guilty. It’s perfectly fine as you are parents and parents want to do best for their kids so just take a deep breath conquer yourself and say sorry to your kid for that whenever you feel better.

Once you know something else is teasing you not your kid you will enjoy even more with your kid. After all kids are best source of happiness and love.

I am trying not to scream on my daughter because of above reasons…..Are you with me?

5 years is a big milestone; your kids learned a lot from crayons to clay, beads to blocks, tricycle to scooter, words to full story, parallel play to team work and now they have become your friends too. Before they reach their 5^th birthday they will be sure about their likes and dislikes, now they really know what they want and what not and that’s why we can say now they are individuals just like us. They can intellect the things very well but of course their choice can be manipulated. For example: If their best friend likes okra in lunch, they too will start loving that. If mother’s favorite color is yellow, they too will love yellow so don’t forget to encourage them to stick to their choice and help them to understand that every individuals can have different likes and dislikes.

Family games like Jingo, Mikado, Uno, snack n ladder, junior scramble and many more are their best interest. Now they can accompany you in a real manner they laugh with you they cry with you they walk with you they exercise with you they eat with you and the best part uis they can make conversation with you!!! Well many things to say about 5 years but here we will focus on what they really love to do? What makes them happy? And what gives them pride to feel like big kid? (In fact now they don’t like to consider themselves in kids group!!!)

1. Rituals and Celebrations: 5 years kids really enjoy celebrations and so they will actively participate in all the rituals and celebrations. They will come out with their new ideas to make your celebration more interesting. If you will listen to them carefully you will understand their plans are also relevant and realistic. If you will choose something from their plans they will feel proud and will help you in entire planning. Better to include your new event planner by adding their favorite flowers to balloons, venue to menu and invite their guests too to thrive your party.
2. Family outing: Tea party, Picnic, Camping, Family games and even 3-4 days outing is their best interest. They will surely tell you how much they enjoyed there and will ask you for next weekend plans too. Beach trees stones and animals are their special interest. Plan at least one or two days of your month to explore nature with your kid.
3. Cooking: House hold chores like cleaning and laundry they might not like now but watering plants and cooking will be their new interest. If you will let them help you in cooking , next time they will surely tell you exact ingredients and recipe to make the same dish!!! Let them add water and salt when you are making dough, let them stir, let them serve the way they want to introduce new chef of your kitchen. Making juice, sandwich, cookies and salad are fun for them.
4. Shopping: Oh my god this new shopping expert is best helper I have ever seen. They will follow your exact instructions!!! Before going to shop tell them where you are going to buy what and see how they remember everything!!! You may need your checklist but they don’t. If you will say we need 10 potatoes they will pick exactly 10 neither 9 nor 11. Grocery shopping with kids is big fun for me.
5. Fashion: New fashionista is ready with his/her fashion tips. If you are planning to get new makeup or clothes for you, don’t forget to take them with you. They will surely acknowledge your new look with their creative mind. You may not know but they will surely add charm in you beauty. Once my little one told me to add eye makeup (which I never did as I am not a makeup lover) in my makeover and when I really did that I felt awesome. Use their tips and enjoy the difference!!!

So go ahead and enjoy with your kids as now you are having your all-time favorite friends with you.

HAVE A HAPPY TIME

Everybody dream to live childhood again. Those were awesome days full of fun, lots of play and zero stress. Actually every day every moment offers us to live one of those fantastic memories but the thing is we don’t notice that!!!  We are really busy with the life full of stress and work load. We say we love rain but when it really rains we think of cold and muddy puddle and so we can’t enjoy it. That’s us grown-ups!!!  Our wish and our thought don’t match with each other. We always ignore the things that can make us happy!!!

When I saw my little one enjoying with water, sand, rain, snow, muddy puddle, fog, butterfly, bugs, bubbles and a lot like this I understood what I missed in my life and I have decided to enjoy all these things again with her.

For my life I would like to say these are the things I forgot to enjoy once I grow up and now thanks to my kid I am enjoying it again. Or in better words I will say these are the things my little one teaches me every day:

Enjoy every moment of life: Kids enjoy everything!!! They become happy for smallest things too. When I looked at my daughter I noticed she becomes happy even with the one small star on her hand!!! And I realized yes we too are getting these kinds of small reasons to be happy but we ignore those. And I have decided to enjoy even smallest thing of my life and my life became much easier and happier.

Imperfection is okay: My days were always shorter than my to do list. I was always running behind the things and result no time for fun or playing with kids. But once my daughter came to me and asked to accompany her and when I replied “sweetie give me 5 minutes I will empty dishwasher and come” she softly replied “why do you want to empty dishwasher now? Any how you will need that by the evening.” And that strikes my mind “ why I am behind work? There will be always something to do.”

It is okay if I can’t finish few things or if my house is little bit messy. And so I set the time for my work and my kid as well as for myself.  Now I try to finish the things during that time and after that I leave it for tomorrow as work will remain same for every day but I won’t get my kid’s childhood again.

Feel Free: The main reason behind the kids’ happiness is they are carefree. They don’t think about people and so they are stress free. Now I like to enjoy the life the way I want without thinking of people. I prefer to leave the people behind when it comes to me and my kid.

Have Patience: Indirectly my kid made me more patient. There was a time when I couldn’t wait for 5 minutes peacefully and now I can. Now I don’t lose my temper soon as I understood few things are not in my control and that won’t be, even if I will lose my temper. Now I believe time will set the things and till then I speak to myself “When we wait we get best.”

Forget and forgive: Kids fight with the friends and after 5 minutes we will see them playing together. They forget the fights, sort out their issues and start new play.  When I thought of that I was really not sure I could do that but when I did I felt so relieved. Sometimes our ego controls us and we can’t leave the things easily. Sometimes things are not good to remember as at last they trouble us only. So forget the things and forgive the people.

We are Family: Family, a word itself is enough to raise our roof. Living with love ones like life partner and kids make us family. Kids make us more responsible more loving more caring more humble and complete. After certain time we don’t seek for friends and relatives, we with kids will be the complete family full of love and happiness.

It is a beautiful Sunday and you think of your favorite food in your favorite restaurant. It is a good idea to get ready, go out and have family lunch or dinner with lots of fun and talk. But suddenly a thought of your kid strikes your mind and you drop the idea as you remember, the last time you have visited the restaurant and how he/she spoiled your mood.  And you talk to your self “oh god it was horrible experience, I don’t want to go to restaurant with kid as everyone was looking at us because of our attention seeker ……and the biggest was he didn’t eat properly so after coming back I had to cook a quick egg sandwich for him. If after going out also, I need to do the same then no way; I can’t do this. It’s better to cook something quick and eat at home only!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Well if this is the scene for you too then here is good news for you. As I always say “you are not alone”, once in a while everyone had to pass  through this so no need to worry, no need to drop your idea just keep in mind what not to do and you are ready to all your way to your favorite food:

Here we will discuss the cause of this: Mistakes Parents make while dine out with kids:

Time constraint: Whenever parents plan to go out either they look for restaurant time or meal time for them but not for kid. If your and your kid’s meal time is same then it’s a plus point for you but if not don’t go out at your time. Actually you should go for meal around 15 minutes earlier of your kid’s meal time so your kid won’t be very much hungry as well as not so full. So he too can enjoy the food.

Lunch time is preferable because many restaurants serve dinner really late! and by that time your kid will be either very hungry or very tired. And second restaurants won’t be really full so you need not to worry about surrounding people.

Order kid’s food:  Normally when parents see “kids special” in menu they feel this is nice. My kid may like this and order that too but please don’t. Reasons are 1. If you will order kids food, your kid will always expect something different for him. 2. When your food will come either he will ask for your food or he will play with his/your food. 3. He won’t eat anything properly as kids get confuse with multiple choices. 4. This will add cost too.

Instruct to get food for kids first: Parents think they will feed their kids first then will eat peacefully. But trust me you won’t as if you will feed him first he will be free when it’s your time to eat and free mind especially free kid definitely not good option as they will be surely up to something.

Stack up toys: Whenever parents plan to go out, they like to keep couple of toys handy. Well not a bad idea if you keep it in car but not good idea too if you are planning for meal. Yeah you can take his/her all-time favorite toy (if he/she has) but don’t pack the toys because you are going somewhere. Kids will definitely find something interesting to play when it’s time to wait or just give them tissue paper and pen. That’s more than enough to keep them busy. Still if you think your kid is not really engaged and bothering others then you can play table games with him/her.

Expect over discipline: Parents want their kids to behave the way they are!!!  Well they are kids…. can’t be so much disciplined. No doubt they will talk louder, they will play with their new fork and spoon and tissue papers too so take it easy. You are out for fun (for you and your kids) so enjoy and let them enjoy. Still if you feel you don’t want to bother anyone then prefer kids friendly (little bit noisy) restaurant.

Worried about quantity: Parents will constantly measure how much their kid is eating, whatever he/she had is enough or not. Well no need to think this much because it is okay if your kid won’t eat properly one day and second your kid has to learn to eat all the kind of food. So please forget about quantity and enjoy. And yes if you feel no I can’t accept this then order your kid’s favorite starter or dessert. Also add juice or ice cream in your order. And still if you are not happy then I can say see if it’s a lunch time you have entire day to feed your kid and if it’s a dinner time then you can give a glass of milk before putting your kid on bed and that’s enough for a day. Anyhow kids manage their appetite in weekly basis so they will cover it in later days.

Scold for improvement: Improvement never comes with negativity. If you will tell him you shout there, you didn’t eat well, you spoiled food and scold him then all these things won’t help you for next time reason 1. They got your point that they didn’t behave well but that time is gone and now they can’t change it. 2. They don’t think for future trips like us. So they will forget it and may behave the same for next time.

Well this doesn’t mean you should not utter a single word and let them spoil your meal. Solution is praise for good. Tell them good thing first like you have waited very nicely for food. I like it too much. But you didn’t eat well that’s not good. Why didn’t you eat properly? Don’t you like spaghetti? Be humble be polite and let them understand.

Let them know it is fun to go out for meal as for kids food is food no matter where you eat!!! Ask them what was their best part of that visit as well as tell yours too. Make the Sunday more tasty and funny for both (you and your kids).

Have A Sweet Sunday