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You switch off the alarm and look at the clock Its 7:00 AM , Couldn’t wake up on first alarm now it’s 7:30 your kids have to leave for school and so many things to do like wake them up, give them milk and breakfast, make their lunch box, pack the school bag  and the most important is make them ready with brush bath clothes n shoes. oops lots of things to do and kids won’t understand it and will argue as usual like I don’t want to wear this clothes and not this shoes, want to play first then only I will go for bath, I want this in my breakfast and why this for lunchbox and many more………….you want to cut all this so you might say “please today no argument and just hurry up we are late!!!!!!”

Do you think it will help you??? Well I don’t think so as kids doesn’t have a word “Hurry Up” in their dictionary they might heard of it a lot from you but can’t response accordingly and you might think this boy/girl won’t listen to me any time!!!! Frustrated right? But that’s neither their fault nor yours. You might say I just want little cooperation when I am late is it too much? No, Not really but the way you prefer to do so that is not realistic as they are kids only.

Here are reasons why you should not say “Hurry UP”:

• When you say “Hurry Up” their ears can listen it, their mind will start thinking what it is and body will ask what to do for hurry up finally a big confusion in their mind and they will be busy understanding and manipulating the word hurry up and result even slower than routine!!!

• Kids at the age of 1-7 don’t have exact idea of time concept they might understand 8 AM is school time and 7 AMis wake up time but don’t have idea about what goes between 7 to 8 that means they don’t really know how much time they get to get ready normally and late means how much time they will get now/today?

• They can’t understand that if we will not do something we can save the time so they won’t be ready to skip or omit any task. why can’t they take bath today is out of their mind and when you say no bath today their mind will start thinking so can’t focus on your words or follow your instructions.
  

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More you will say “Hurry up” more it will affect negatively as their body and mind will not able to tune up due to your impatience So what to do? Leave it and be late? Of course not just follow the 5 steps:

1. Keep calm: First thing you need to do is say yourself it’s okay to be late relax take a deep breath take a min and think what are the things in priority and what are the things really necessary to do and then here you go……

2.   Speed up your task: You just need to do your task speedy like give bath in 5 min in place of 10 min but let them play for 5 min as always In this case they won’t even feel that there is a change.

3. Distract with fun: Tell them story of two monkeys and feed them two bananas for breakfast tell the story of ginger bread and pack their lunch box with bread sing rhyme of 1 2 3 and make their selection of clothes on the hand on 3. What you need to do is take the decision and encourage them to follow with some fun. In simple word manipulate their thinking the way you want them to react.

4. My turn to help you: Kids like when you help them occasionally but if you will say you are late let me do this then no…….no way.  When you say let me help you that mean they can’t do it properly but when you say today is my turn to help you as yesterday you helped me a lot then they will feel proud and let you do the things you want. So make them wear shoes or comb their hair (the things which normally done by themselves) by simply saying the wise words.

5. Include Family Members: Taking help is perfectly okay especially when it comes to family. In fact when you will ask your husband or mother in law to do something and they will do that, that really leaves a good image on your kid and help them to understand the value of family.

Precaution is always better than cures:

•  Add False Time: Make schedule the way so they can get 15 min more than they required normally. So if you are late then also actually it’s not too late it’s just like you will not get 15 min extra.

• Minimize Morning Chores:Minimize your morning to do list by pre preparation like pack their school bag before going to bed, ask them to select clothes, what goes in lunch box and breakfast etc. before they go to sleep.

My friend (who is also a mother of a pre-schooler) visited me once and while having coffee she mentioned “I am really surprised to see your neat and tidy house. How do you manage it with kid? Doesn’t she play with or spoil the things?” I answered “of course we do. She rides bicycle inside the house, plays dress up in hall,  plays with sand in gallery and sometimes with water too. But when we are done I have most harmonious and reliable helping hands that knows how to enjoy even house hold chores and inspire me to clean up all these small things with fun.” She wondered helping hands!!  I explained yes my 4 year old helps me in cleaning not only with mess she did but in my house hold chores too. Surprising shocking or astonishing but I will say that’s the way kids are!!!! It’s not special in my daughter actually all kids ages 1-7 years enjoy to do small house hold chores which individually don’t take much effort and time but together will be big relaxation for you. There are many small things to do that actually take 40% of your entire day but these helping hands can make it in 10% if you know how to utilize them. 

If you are parents who think this is their age to play not to do all these chores then here are some reasons why you should offer them to help you:

Proud: Normally people treat kids as they can’t do anything which is definitely not true and they too know this truth. When you ask for help they feel that they too can do something real and they are needed that makes them proud and add confidence.

Part of family: When they do something useful for you and you appreciate it they feel that they are getting enough attention and they too are equally important part of the family.

 Increase Empathy: Family is where life begins and love never ends…..and this they will understand with the loving caring sharing and helping environment of in house. The feeling of “We are one” builds empathetic kid.

Teach them cleanliness and hygiene: all parents want their kids clean and healthy and all these house hold chores are just a part of how to make your place clean so they will get practical approach and idea of importance of cleanliness and hygiene not only of their body but of the surrounded environment too.

Improvement in skills: To fulfill these house hold chores they need to use their body parts like hands fingers legs and so it will improve gross as well as fine motor skills of kids as well as extend their memory and instruction grasping power.

It’s just a play: For kids everything is just a part of play if they are ready to do the things that means they are enjoying it and any how you are going to ask for help only you are not going to force them that you have to do this or why didn’t you do this so they are free to decide whatever they want.

Here are few house hold chores where your kids can help you:

1.   Clean up: Well I will not say kids like to do clean up but if you will say you need help then they feel powerful and will try their best to help you. When it’s time to clean up just simply divide the things for example if s/he had played with sand play, you should say you put stones and creatures in the box and I will take care of sand. If its water you say I will put the water toys back would you please empty water. If its room you should say I will take care of bookshelf you put your toys back, I will take care of art kit you put table n chair back. It’s only about the right directions you just need to find the interesting part of the clean up and ask them to do that.
2. Laundry: the most boring work for grownups and most loving activity for little masters. They can separate clothes from the basket; put it in washing m/c and you just need to start it!!! They can dry and fold all the small clothes and you need to deal with big ones only and that decreases half of time.
3. Vessels: Arrange your kitchen in a way that they can reach up most of the necessary vessels and get whenever they want or you ask for help. As all kids love to play with kitchenware you can ask them to empty your dishwasher and see how enthusiastically they accomplish it.
4.   Set the table: Before meals ask them to help you to arrange table they can set the plates and you get food. After meals ask help for cleanup. You clean up the kitchen and till that time s/he can cleans up table.
5.   Watering plants: showering water to plant is the most interesting activity for kids and so you show it couple of times and leave it on them and trust me they will do that same time same way without any single miss.

When you are done with the work with their help don’t forget to reward them by singing and dancing on a song “we did it we did it…..” from Dora Or find your special way to celebrate it.

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• Make a Chart: you and your kid together make chart (rough picture of things to do with sequence number) of what to do next and hang it in kid’s room or in a room where your kid spends a lot of time. If your child is younger than a year you can make it for your kid. When chart is visible to them most of the times they can able to understand what comes next and when there is a time to do the things ask them now “which chart we will follow?” Making chart is beneficial in two ways: first Pictorial presentation makes things easy to understand and second it will increase creativity.
• Prepare for Transition: At the start you need to make them ready to follow the chart and so you need to give some pre idea about the next coming event like “in 10 min we will take bath”. Be little flexible but set the timer and tell them when timer rings you need to come by yourself and once timer rings never ever compromise.
• Little Flexible : when undesirable changes occurs you should give them idea like today you took a little more time in dinner so I can’t read a story for you but you promise tomorrow you will finish it on time so I can read two stories instead.
• Need Consistency & Limits: Consistency is always a key here. Once you miss and they will take you for granted.  So for all the miss give them perfect idea (in straight and simple words)of why and try to follow as much as you can. Set the schedule that you can follow.
• Encourage By Small Rewards: Initially for every success give them a star or sticker and tell them when you will win 10/20 stars we will go to zoo (A Place of your kid’s choice) and see how enthusiastically they follow it!!!
• 10-12 hrs. Sleep Pattern: make a chart in a way so your kid can get at least 10-12 hrs. continuous night sleep as most of the kids skip nap time by the age of 2 or 3. Continuous sleep helps your kid’s mind and body to relax and rejoice for a new day.
• Include Soothing Time: when you make chart of to do things don’t forget to include hug time or cuddle time to show your love towards your kid after all for kids love is the only thing to achieve.

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Well it seems hard to start but actually it’s tough for couple of weeks only and will reassure you till 5-7 yrs. The first word I understood as a mother was “have patience” and to be patient for couple of weeks is always preferable to raise a fresh healthy child.

Here is a Preferable Routine for your Pre-Schooler: 

By 8:00 your kid has to fall asleep so he/she can be ready to start a new fresh day.

Here is a Preferable Routine for your Toddler: 

Most of the toddlers take 1 or 2 nap ( of less than 2 hrs.) during a day and need 12 hrs. continuous sleep at night.

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My 4 yrs. old daughter was keeping me busy since last two days as she was suffering from stomach infection. It’s but obvious that I couldn’t do any work in these days. Finally it was 8 PM of second day and I had lots of pending work so I simply asked “Hey dear I know you have pain in your tummy so you can’t sleep but as this is 8 O’clock will you please lay down on couch and I will finish my office work sitting next to you” And she took a moment and said “yes mummy”, gave me a hug and couple of kisses and allowed me to work for next 2 hrs. !!!!!!!! You will think wow what a co-operative girl!!! And I agree indeed but this wasn’t by nature all kids are after all kids but you can make them ready to co-operate by your little effort and that’s simply by Setting Up Routine.

Routine doesn’t mean a strict schedule that kid has to do the way you want but it’s a predictable planned day in which you and your kid can get enough time to understand each other and do fun loving activity with little discipline.

Benefits from Routine

• Makes kids feel secure: When kids can predict the next coming thing it will be much easier for them to accept and they feel secure even for the things they don’t like to do. Predictable doesn’tmean you have to follow the clock…….but you have to just track the events occurrences. When every day same thing happens in a same sequence it becomes routine.
• Increases comfort level: Change is always challenging so when you know these are the things you have to do in a day you can do more comfortably. Same with the kids when they know what to expect next it will be much easier to accomplish. Even when they are tired they understand that these are the things I am supposed to do and show less tantrums.
• Tolerate frustration: The best thing is they can easily cope up with the small changes as rests of the things are as per the expectations. Even when undesirable changes occur or kids are exhaust they still can predict the remaining half and tolerate their frustration.
• Foster responsibility: when predictable things happens kids feel that they got whatever they want and they understand why they are not getting particular thing. They become more confident, co-operative and understanding. Routine teaches them after and before concept so now they can be more patient.
• Cut down stress: when you know this is the last thing you need to do and after that you will be able to take rest or get time for you it’s easy to handle your frustration and control your temper specially when you are tired or ill. Predictable sleep time always reduces sleeping fights.
• Get personal time: Raising a kid needs a lot of effort and patience. You may not get time to do the things you like but if you plan a day the way you want I am sure it would be easy to steal small amount of time for you also and what else can be more desirable to have time to spend the way you want.
• Make life disciplined: planning is always preferable when things go per the planning you will feel safe secure and confident and that makes your life more happy. Flexibility is always welcomed but little discipline makes your life ordered and organized. Don’t let your days come and go rather make it more effective and productive for you and your child.

For more information please refer my next blog on How To Set A Routine publishing on Thursday,12 March 2015.

If you are a parent who thinks how can I choose the right toy? What are the kind of toys I should offer to my little one?  I need to check for age only or any other criteria too? What will really help them to grow? Then check it out my Tips On ToyBox  and here I am suggesting top most toys to offer :

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Blocks Beads & Puzzle:  This will help to develop fine motor skills and problem solving approach in your child. Try to guide but don’t force them to play the exact way let them make whatever they like. There are many types of different blocks/puzzles available in market you can choose them by checking size n no. of pieces on it. Wooden blocks and toys are always best as they give realistic effect and long lasting.

Balls: Ball will provide little physical exercise both outside and inside the house and develop gross motor skills.That will build physical stamina of your kid as well as develop hand-eye co-ordination and balancing.

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Dress Up Toys: These will give idea of real social helper and what are the importance of them in day to day life like doctors firefighters teachers and many more. Dress up of animals and fairy tells will extend  their cognitive and  imagination power.

Toy House Tunnel & Toy Kitchen; who doesn’t like to have their own house and so the kids. They like to play with their own tent tunnel or toy house especially kitchen. They have noticed that how a kitchen is an important part of a house and that’s why kids love to play with kitchenware a lot than any other toys. They explore here whatever they learn from normal routine life and express their emotions by their play.

Dolls Cars & Trains: “Dream comes true” and this thing they will realize by fairy tales and dolls and if it’s a boy from cars and trains. With a doll kids can learn zipping loving caring combing buttoning and many more things. Normally cars and trains are option of dolls if it’s a boy but that doesn’t mean girls don’t play with it or boys don’t play with dolls. These kinds of toys teach self-control and build good story teller.

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Board Games: Board game likes memory game snack n ladder sequencing etc will teach them a concept of win/loose. It will also teach them team concept taking turn and how to have patience.

Art & Craft: Inside every kid there is an Artist and you just need to help them to come out kids have their own way to see the world and that’s really very beautiful. Give them crayons and paper and they will surprise you with their outstanding thinking. Water colors are best even if your kid is not interested in coloring he/she will play with water color for sure. Let them use their finger and hands. Play dough is also a good option and develop fine motor skills.

Musical Instrument: Kids love to dance sing and even play some of musical instrument. Dance will help them to stretch their body as well as music will refresh them. Music will enhance concentration and memory power. I know you wont believe this but memory of kid who is learning music is 40% higher than a memory of a normal kid!!!!

Water & Sand Play: Most of the kids are fond of water and sand. Give them bathtub toys bubble maker bucket shovel shells stones sand & water creature and just see how much fun it is. With these toys they are really free to explore themselves so even unconscious part of their mind can be visible and they understand the nature and creature.

 Books & CDs: Always try to read at least one book before going to bed for your kid. Early reader technique will develop learning skills in your kid. Books are very good way to tell them dos and don’t as well as increase vocabulary. Early reader technique will develop learning skills and discipline in your kid.  If you don’t prefer reading then go for CDs of kid’s rhymes or cartoons.

You should always give your kids a toy for which they need to do more things rather than choosing a toy with multi functionality as the more children have to do to play the more they will learn.

When it comes to kids and their toys many parents will say not a big deal why should we   think about it we just need to give them whatever they want!!!!! But actually that’s not true. Toys are not just to engage them, that really help them to grow. You can give kids two types of toys: 1. Real stuff 2. From the shop First one is very easy kids can play everything!! really everything so you can offer them vessels, broom, empty boxes, bottles, wrappers , bags , newspapers , old clothes or even old shoes and they will enjoy to play with all these. But who doesn’t want to buy toys for their kids? Toys available in shops are really very attractive but do u think it’s a good choice to buy a stylish mobile without any proper apps in that? No right? same with the toys most of the toys look attractive but of no use it won’t help your kid to grow your kid can play with it and may be its worth for you but actually toys are not just to play but to learn to encourage  to help your kids to grow and many more……. So choose toys by yourself and very carefully. You can check the backside of the pack there will be little information about age of kid and what will they learn if it’s not there don’t hesitate to ask shop keeper what your kid will learn from it or read the review from the internet. Here are few tips to make your selection easier:

• Age appropriate toys:There will be age like 2+ 5+ on the box of toy and don’t forget to check it. It’s not good to give your child a toy which is higher or lower of his/her age. Because if you will choose higher age by thinking in mind it will be useful afterwards then also you are wrong. Because your kid will open that box and will start to play with it in a convenient way so he/she won’t learn anything from it and later when your kid will be able to play in proper way he/she won’t as interest of toy is gone or  won’t be ready to leave the easiest way !!!! So if your kid has completed 2 years choose 2+ if he/she has completed 5 choose 5+ toys. So Toys will affect the way they meant to be.

• Let them choose:Kids will play only those toys which they really like so let them choose what they want to play. Of course that doesn’t mean go to shop and tell them take whatever you like!!! First you go through all the toys select couple of suitable toys for child and tell to choose from those selected toys. This will be beneficial in two ways. First you can offer them a right toy and second they will think it’s their choice as they are final decision maker here.

• Old is new  :well do you have any clothes in your wardrobe you brought last year and wore only once…..try it rather to buy new one and you will get the feeling of new one only. Same with the kids they live in present only so if you think your kid is done with toy don’t trash/discard that toy from toy box instead hide it in your room for couple of weeks and if your kid is younger than 2 year you can rotate a toy every week. You Just need to hide a toy from toy box and place a new toy on their table from your hidden toy box and see the face of your child he/she will be very happy to see this new toy and play with it as before only.
• Let them join you:normal tendency of kids is to follow you. They might not get your words but they will surely get whatever you do. So utilize it with your little interest. Most of the time a kid of singer will be more interested in singing a kid of doctor will be more interested in doctor kit and so on because they can see that their parents are enjoying it so they feel it’s really interesting. So if you want them to play with something don’t just give them a toy n tell them see this is the way you should play in fact let your kid do whatever he/she likes just seat near to your child and open a toy and start playing the game and enjoy it if they will see you are enjoying then they will surely come n ask may I please join you and then play together. Yeah you will say who has this much time but try it at least once it could be a good break for you too or who knows you will like it more than your kid!!