If parents will talk about their kids I am sure they will definitely talk about two things. 1. Feeding issues and 2. Sleeping trouble.

Doesn’t matter your kid is either 1 year old or 7 years old they will surely don’t like sleeping Time.

Your kid will be playing very nicely until you will say “it’s Sleeping Time Baby!!!”

So what to do? We should let them awake till the time they want? Or we should force them to sleep?

Letting awake till the time they will be ready might seems good idea to you, but the truth is it is not at all a good idea at the end. Reasons are

1. Kids normally don’t have idea whether they are sleepy or not so they will try to stretch themselves beyond their limit.
2. Kids don’t like to sleep as they don’t know the concept of time. They feel if they will sleep now they will miss lots of things. They don’t have the idea of tomorrow so they won’t be ready to sleep ever.
3. It will affect your kids’ health.
4. Because of incomplete sleep your kids will be difficult to handle.
5. Your kids will face troubles in concentrating the things. Result it decreases their grade.

Few parents complain that their kids’ are not listening to them at all and always up to some mischief, one of the primary reason behind this is they never focus on their kids sleep schedule. They allow their kids to sleep till evening 5 or 6 pm and then they complain my kid is always awake till 11 or 12 pm. Well you believe it or not if you think you are facing troubles to handle your kid then focus on his/her sleep schedule first because the truth is if your kids are unable to get 10-12 hrs night sleep continuously, they will be cranky whole day.

Try to set your kids’ sleeping routine for couple of weeks and see the difference in your kids’ mood. Good sleeping habit not only helps in health issues but also increase your kids’ memory power. Your kid will be fresh so s/he can focus more; s/he can listen more; s/he can learn more. So basically providing proper sleep at sleeping time is as much important as serving nutritious food.

Here I am providing you the necessary sleeping need of your kids to regain their energy.

So what do you think? Am I suggesting you to force your kids to sleep at 8? Well yes and no both. As I am telling you to put your kids on bed before 8 for sure but of course not by forcing them. After all who likes bedtime battles every day?

There are ways to put your kids on bed without battles and for that wait for my next article on 3S to stop bedtime battles.

It was a summer vacation when we with my 4 and half years old daughter Kiara went to see my parents.

One morning Kiara was not ready to take bath even though I tried to convince her a lot.

Finally I called my mother who was putting clothes in washing m/c and said see mom kiara is not getting ready for bath.

She looked at kiara and said “look at your clothes it’s pretty much dirty. It seems if you won’t go for bath I need to put you in washing m/c with your clothes!!!”

Kiara paused for a while and asked innocently “granny, do you think washing m/c will hurt me or it will just clean me softly like clothes!!!”

We surprised by her question and laughed like anything.

True, kids’ mind thinks more than we expect and so their questions really leave us amazed. Thank you very much for sharing your amazing experience with us.

We are inviting cute conversation from
all the parents. You can write your experience to fosterfeel@gmail.com with the *name, age and photo of your kid and we will publish it on forstefeel.com/cute_conversation/ on every Tuesday.

*If you don’t want to reveal the identity of your kid, we will be happy to accept the experience with age of your kid.

Last Sunday when we went for shopping I saw a 3 years old boy, requesting for a toy to her mother. His mother said “you already have many cars” and refused to buy that toy.  Result weeping, crying and sadness. At the end his mother brought a car for him!!!

Common shopping scene when we shop with kids. Whenever we go for shopping, kids try to touch all the things, demand for many things and misplace few things. Yes I agree this is really common behavior but do you really think parents can’t control this? I will say no we can, we can if we want. We can if we are sure what do we want. We can if we know what is right and what is wrong.

I am sure just like me you too want to avoid this behavior and for that here I am sharing the steps I prefer to follow:

Step 1 – Pre-Idea: Before going to anywhere just give the idea of where are you going and why.  For example, if we are going to mall for grocery shopping I will update my daughter with “today we are going for grocery shopping so you can choose any one fruit of your choice and you can help me in vegetables too.”

Step 2 – Set the shopping rule: Set the shopping rules and frequently explain it to your kid. For example, in my house I made a rule “going to buy gifts means only gifts no shopping will be done for me or my daughter.” And for that I will definitely give her pre-idea like “this is the time to get gifts you can help me with your suggestion but we can’t buy anything for you today.’

Step 3 – Praise for positivity: Don’t forget to admire even a smallest co-operation offered by your child. For example if my daughter will say “mom I like this too much. Will you please buy this one for me next time?” Then I will praise her with “I really like that you liked it and still you are ready to wait for that. I am really proud of you.”

Step 4 – Accept the situation: Even after pre-idea and rules, if your kid asks for the thing, first thing to do is accepting the situation. Stay calm, think twice and state your decision.

Step 5 – Say No with confidence: If you don’t want to buy the thing because of any reason tell them no, simply no. for example, I prefer to say “oh yes that’s really good that you like it but not for this time.”

It is perfectly okay if they are sad.  It’s their right to show right emotions.  This is the way they will learn to deal with their emotions and feelings.

Step 6 – Be clear and brief: If reason is simple like they already have that kind of toy then you can simplify it in 1 or 2 sentences but don’t try to explain in detail. For example I prefer to say we cannot buy the things we have.  Be straight and be clear.

Step 7 – Never change your mind: No means no. Never change your decision based on your mood. If Take the decision based on your pre-idea and shopping rules. Don’t buy anything on that day doesn’t matter how much you like or how much your kid insists for the thing.

If you feel the thing your kid asked is really worth enough and s/he deserve it then buy it on very next day but not on that day. Reason is simple, they should understand the meaning of no. If you will change your mind depends on things and situations, they will get confused with your uncertainty and will try to change your decision. Be consistent. On the spot decisions are always inappropriate if you are trying to teach them discipline and manner.

Step 8 – Show Empathy: If your negative answer made your kid sad, show your love and empathy by your words and touch. Explain your kid that you understand his/her feelings and give direction to show that feelings in right way.

Step 9 – State Strict Rule: Still if your kid continues crying throwing screaming or hitting, warn your kid with “I understand you are sad but that doesn’t mean you should throw the things. Stop throwing or else I have to punish you.” Use 123 magic and don’t hesitate to give small punishment or put on timer.

You have to make them understand that this is not the way to show emotions. Help them to understand feeling sad or getting angry doesn’t mean throwing the things or hitting anyone.

Step 10 – Introduce leave n live: Still if your kid is showing fuss, take him/her out of shop and go to home/car. Tell your kid strictly if s/he will behave like this you won’t be able to continue your shopping. Demonstrate that by leaving your kid with caretaker for emergency shopping. Explain your kid that if s/he won’t behave well while shopping then even though you want you can’t take your kid with you.

know your kid with my previous article kids scream troubles and solutions-1

Many things about pregnancy kept me wondering and one of them was why 9 months? Why shall we wait for 9 months? Why can’t we have baby in just few days? Why the duration is exactly 9 months, neither 8 nor 10. In fact 10 is round figure!!!

During my pregnancy my mind asked these questions many times and by the end of the pregnancy I got the answer from my heart which I would like to share with you…..

Depends on the feeling and state of each month I gave them a Name.

First Month Unknown Phase: Most of the time you are not aware of your pregnancy in this month and so I named it Unknown Phase. By the end of this month your body will start sending you sign but till that nothing is sure. Even doctors can’t confirm your pregnancy until you enters in second month!!!

Second Month Time for Surprise: This month will reveal the truth of your pregnancy. Congratulations and thus I would like to call this month as Time for Surprise. If you are not ready for the baby then this can be shock for you but trust me whether you are ready or not, 9 months duration is perfect for you to make your mind to accept this precious gift. So even if this is your unplanned baby please have patience and take the decision.

Third Month Struggling Time: Your pregnancy is confirmed but still you have to take extra care of your body and baby as chances of miscarriages are really high in first three months. And that’s why this is struggling month. Your baby struggles to get a new life and you struggle to bring and accept her in this new world. I remember I was so desperate about a baby girl in first 3 months that I thought if it would be a boy I won’t be able to accept him!!!

Forth Month Time for Blush and Bliss: First three months risk is gone and now you are ready to declare your pregnancy. You are ready to share your perfect bliss with your family and friends.

Fifth Month Relaxing Phase: By the end of forth month most of your pregnancy problems like morning sickness nausea abdominal pain will go. You will be free from the worry of your baby’s life as you already hear her heartbeats. And that’s why I call this month Relaxing Phase (free from pain and worry).

Sixth Month Feel the Touch: By the end of fifth month Baby will inform you her presence by light kick but mostly you will identify that in sixth month and that’s why I named it Feel the Touch …. First time you will feel the touch of your baby and I know how much emotional moment is it. Enjoy the touch and feel the love.

Seventh Month Time to Plan: Now tiny tots will snatch your heart and mind. Babies and baby items are enough to divert your attention. Go for tiny tots window shopping but don’t buy anything in this month. Think how your nursery should look like, get review for your selected baby items and plan with the proper wish list or else you will surely end up with extra expenses. Watch wish think and plan to welcome your baby in your family and world.

Eighth Month Have fun with Shop: Now this is time for you to implement your plan into action.  Shop your wish list and prepare nursery for your baby. It’s beautiful feeling to imagine, shop and fulfill your dream.

Ninth Month Exciting wait State: This month is tiresome as well as you will be eagerly waiting for your baby. You are losing your patience and may count remaining days. But at the same time excitement will increase by the each day passed and so I named it Exciting wait state.

This is what I felt about 9 Months of my pregnancy. Agree with me? Then please like this post. Don’t Agree? Then please leave a comment and share your experience with me.

What is kid? You may think what kind of question is this? Kid means kid, a child. But no, kid doesn’t mean just a child. Kid is a combination of soft sweet heart with little naughtiness to spread smile in the world. Kid is one who can surprise you every day with his/her sweet talk and curious mind. Kid is a one who can be happy with just a small star sticker on his/her hand. Kid is a one who cries when party goes over. Kid is a one who can stop crying when you offer a candy!!!

Do you know why? Answer is very simple. Because kids are innocent.

But sometimes they behave differently, a good different something similar to you!!! For example, one day they come to you and say mama I got two same gifts so you can give one of them to someone who really needs it!!! We feel proud when our kids do something very good like this. We appreciate that with wow my kid is big boy/girl now!!!

Take a moment and think is s/he really a big enough? Revise the incident with their reaction and rethink is it okay for this age? Am I not forcing them to react like a big girl/boy by words or behavior?

Good behavior is good if it comes with innocence but what if it comes with over maturity? Maturity comes with age and it should not come before the time or else it will abstract beauty of your kid, it will steal your kid’s childhood and it will kill your kid’s innocence.

Here we will discuss what to expect and what not from kids to secure their innocence.

• When you say I am having head ache and your kid try to massage your head for a minute and asks are you feeling better now? That shows their love and concern for you and that’s their innocence.

But when you say I am having headache, you go and play in your room and they don’t show up even once in one hour then that’s not kid!!! I know you will feel peace for this but this won’t be beneficial in near future.

• When you say please be quite to your chatter box and they really are quite for couple of minutes that’s more than enough. They will surely speak something after 1 or 2 minutes and that’s the way they should be; forgettable and free…..that makes them sweet and charming.

But if they really be quite until you initiate the talk then that’s not kid.

• If your kid is more in fashion that’s really good that s/he understands it at this age but if s/he don’t use much colors or mismatch and follows the concept of matching then you are surely missing his/her childhood. If your child compares his/her look with you then this is the time for you to take a break and think about her childhood.

For kids colors and favorites are beautiful not look!!! They feel they look beautiful as well as all. And that should be that way only.

• When your kid is ready to give everything to someone if asked then also it’s not good as that means 1. She is not attached to anything 2. She might be afraid of you 3. She is over matured. Well it’s okay if s/he is not ready to share sometimes or something.

You should respect their feeling for that. At the end they will surely learn the concept of give and get.

• It is perfectly fine if your kid cries when party goes over or when guests leave your house. This shows their affection for people. And that is really good sign. Don’t scold or use harsh words for this behavior or else either they will stop sharing their feelings with you or they will be carefree from people.

• If your kid talks in playground and can’t focus on play due to that; that’s their innocence. Encourage them to focus on play but don’t force them for that as sports they will surely learn later but this innocence won’t come again.

• If your kid understands people are more important than gifts, that is really good. But if they don’t wait for gift or they don’t feel excited by gifts then that’s not kid.

Kids’ reactions are good if and only if its age appropriate. If your kid shows over maturity then that too is not good as s/he will defiantly learn to react like a grown up one day but this is their only chance to react and behave like a kid, little naughty and little sweet.

This doesn’t mean you should not appreciate your kid when they behave well but yes don’t try to teach all at this age. Sometimes it’s good to hide few things when we know it’s not their age. Your explanation should be in brief only. Detail description steals their innocence, drop their imagination and make them mature than their age.

Do you want to test whether your kid is innocent or not?

Try small tricks when they are crying and if they start laughing or smiling in couple of seconds than you are on right path as kids are those who can cry and laugh together and if your kid can not do that, that means  you are stealing their childhood.

2 to 7 years age is really important to make them confident, test their limits, and explore their emotions. so just try to guide them to use their emotions in better way rather to stop it.

Don’t force them to learn anything before age as even god gifted over talented kids cannot have a normal lives.

Reader’s Photo

I would like to share one of my cute experiences of my son Aarnav who is 4 years old.

One day I asked “Aarnav will you please search a calculator for me?”

He just roam around for a while and said “I searched the whole house and I didn’t find it.”

I got up and showed him the calculator and shouted “The calculator is laying in front of you only.”

He cutely replied “Amma keep it again and ask me to search. This time I will surely get it!!!”

And all my anger turned into laughter because of his cute silly answer.

True, Kids’ stupid but cute answers are enough to change our mood.  Thank you very much Anju for sharing your mind blowing experience with us.

We are inviting cute conversation from all the parents. You can write your experience to fosterfeel@gmail.com with the name, age and photo of your kid and we will publish it on forstefeel.com/cute_conversation/kids_name on every Tuesday.

My favorite Me Time – Sand Play to refresh my mind

7 am milk 10 am breakfast 12 pm lunch 3pm milk 5pm fruit 6pm dinner 7pm sleep strict routine for me and my kid …….always busy in house hold chores and family life. I want to go out for dinner but can’t as I have to put my little one on bed by 7pm. I want to go for movie on Saturday but can’t because need to attend some family function. Where I am and what am I doing??? I feel like I am stuck somewhere and want to run away from this. But can’t just can’t. In 5 years at least 50 times I felt to run away from all these!!!

This doesn’t mean I don’t like to do all these things or I don’t love my kid and family but yes sometime I really want a break from all the responsibilities and want to live life freely ….I want to sleep as much as I want; I want to watch late night movie and I want to go for night outs too…..wish list will go on and on

Who knows me or read my articles won’t believe this as for all of them I am very much patient and content but truth is I too become impatient sometimes. But I know how to regain my composure. What I need in these conditions is inner peace and I get that from “Me Time” and that’s why I am writing this article for those parents (especially my readers) for whom I am tickled pink.

What is Me Time

Time that you spend for yourself and with yourself is called Me Time.

Why Me Time is important

Your days start with the kid and end up with kid. If you are working, with office and kid but in both the case you are living same routine life every day and thus your heart demands for a change and Me Time provides you that change. With Me Time you will feel relaxed and satisfied and so you will enjoy with the routine things.

What can I do in Me Time

Me Time is a time when you can be with yourself and engage yourself with your favorite activity. You can fulfill your wish list or you can just relax.

Me Times includes anything and everything that can make you happy.

How to steal Me Time

I am sure now you are ready with your Me Time plan but the question is how? You know what do you want to do but how can you get time for that? Well here we are sharing few ideas to steal Me Time to give you reference.

1. When you go to mall, ask your partner to go to kids’ area with your kid and enjoy shopping in different stores.
2. Enroll your kid in sports class and have fun with your book in that spare time.
3. Take a tour to kids’ friendly store like cross word or Barnes & Noble and feel free.
4. Always put your kid on bed before 8 so you can have a late night call or TV time to freshen up your mind.
5. Skip cooking for a day and clean your wardrobe or decorate your room or house.
6. Set a baby sitter for couple of hours and go for movie.
7. Leave your kids with your parents and go for a date to have a wonderful time as before.
8. Hand over your kid to your partner and go for spa to relax your body and mind.
9. Get up early and have a cup of coffee in garden with fresh air to rejoice your mind.
10. Get ready in different dresses and click some photos to get smile on your face.

Why without kid

Do you think your partner likes to do all the things which you do? Of course not then how a kid can like all these things. So leave your kids at home let them enjoy and you too enjoy with yourself.

Of course you can do all this with your kid but trust me without kid having fun with your self is more refreshing and will help you to be content. So when actually you have to be with your kids, you can enjoy thoroughly with them and won’t feel helpless or impatient with their crazy behavior.

How much time I should spend for me time

As much as you can but at least half an hour every day and 2 to 3 hrs weekly. If you can have both that’s reward for you.

When can I start

If you want you can start from the first day of delivery but if you can’t don’t wait for more than a year. Kids are big responsibility so take a break to enjoy the responsibility.

Still It is better late than never

There is nothing secret about a great parent. It is all about to stay calm and patient and it’s easy to achieve with Me Time. So try to steal Me Time and be a great parent.