Kids Scream troubles and solutions #2

Permanent solutions:

Set the example: Discipline comes with understanding and understanding comes from observation. Kids love to observe you, family, friends and surrounding environment. And when they find something comfortable they absorb it and try to implement it. And so if you want to teach your kids discipline (why they should not scream or manners), first thing you should do is show them how good you are; how good people are; how nicely we talk to people and how nicely we talk to them. Encourage good behavior by adopting good things.

For examples – When there is a time to wait, Be patient. Don’t break queue. Or when you don’t get something be sad but don’t over react. When they will see “How you deal with these things”, they will learn how to cope up with their own dislikes.

Know your kids: All the kids are different and all the kids have their own likes and dislikes, once you know what your kids like and what not it will be easy to get idea of why and when your kids scream and how can you stop it. Many kids are quite in car but show tantrums in mall; many are quite in movie but scream while walk; many are quite at home but scream when it’s time to school. Many are quite alone but scream when surrounded by people and vice versa. What I mean to say is observe your kids and find out their comfort and discomfort zone. Make a list of it. This doesn’t mean you should not do dislike or discomforting things, after all kids have to learn to deal with dislikes also but try to understand and make them little bit comfortable in it. This will help you in: 1.When you know why and when your kids will cry, you can be prepared with solutions. 2. When you are ready with the solutions, you can be calm. 3. When you are under control, they think you understand them so they calm down easily. 4. When you can pretend the situation before it really happens, you can prepare them for little discomfort. 5. When your kids are aware of little discomfort, it would be easy for them to find their interest in those situations too.

Help them to find comfort in discomfort: When you know it is not going to happening for your kids, give them idea of where are you going and what is the interesting part of it. For example: my little daughter is not much comfortable with travelling, so if we need to go for long drive, I will talk to her like “hey how about garden – a big new garden full of roses and butterflies?” (I always like to get pre-idea of places from internet) And when she will say yes, I will say “but it’s really far away. We need to seat in a car for 100 mins but you can take your doll with you and books too. You know we may get time to read 3 stories!!! Isn’t it fun? So are you ready to visit beautiful garden?

Reserve mummy & baby time : Reserve time for you and your kids once in a day for at least 10 to 15 mins (must not exceed than 30 mins). Talk about what do you like and what not in this fresh time. As well as ask their likes and dislikes. This is the time when you and your kids can talk and enjoy without any disturbance. When you two are there, your kids can talk freely about everything and so you can get idea of their views. At the same time they know this is the time when you will listen to them so they too will listen to you and try to understand you.

Rehearse game at home: Try calm down games at home not too often or else they will lose their interest and not rarely or else they will forget it.

Praise for good: Don’t forget to admire your kids even for small things. Like wow you colored this nicely next time show me even better. Reward them for good behavior with good complement or star or cookies. For example:  If your kid has waited for her turn, tell her you have been so patient so let’s have a treat for you now.

Introduce Take – Away Technique: Reward is always good but when kids are above 3 years its good time to introduce take-away. Use reward for really good thing and take away for discipline. It’s like when your kid understands that they should not hit anyone and if they do, use take away. Take away means they won’t get their favorite thing for sometimes (15 to 30 mins). It can be their favorite doll or most favorite thing of that time. It’s kind of soft punishment.

Motivate with story: Story is the best way to teach them everything. Believe me or not Kids listen to two things: 1. Their Teacher and 2. Books so utilize it as much as you can.

Never change your mind: Once you say no that means no only in all the condition. Because when you change your decision depends on situations, they get confused and can’t understand you. So be consistent.

Perfect age to teach discipline is 2 to 4 years as at this age they can easily accept and learn new things and it will last for long time may be life time (if you are consistent).  But if you couldn’t do at that time then no need to worry. Best thing with the kids is there is never late. Start understanding your kids today and make them understand you by tomorrow!