How to teach your kid “hitting is bad”

Few days back when I was sitting in the garden, I saw a 3 years old kid hit another kid during play. The little boy hit once, then twice and when he hit the other boy for the third time, the other boy simply stopped playing with the little boy.  As he was elder he got the new friends and started playing with them. They did not include this little boy and as a result the little boy stated whining and his mother simply said “these boys I don’t understand why they don’t behave well to little kids!!!”

Now what to say? And to whom? To the one who started hitting or to his mother who didn’t even realize the real reason?

“Hitting is bad and you should never hit anyone” that’s what we want our children to understand but what if they hit? We should ignore that and wait for them to realize it later by themselves?

Have you ever thought that your kid will learn to walk, speak, eat or play by themselves by the time? Haven’t you ever tried to teach them those things?  Then how can you say they will learn “Hitting is bad” by the time by themselves? It is not about time it is more about how to deal with the new power and that you have to teach them. What if suddenly you will get super power, do you think you will not misuse it? you will surely test it either to satisfy your curiosity or for the fun. Exactly that’s what happens with the kids. Up to 2 years they don’t have the power to hit and now they got it; they saw the reflection of it; they know people react on this action and so they hit.

But it is parents’ responsibility to teach them what is right and what is not. How to handle the power and why it is not good option to test all the limits?

Why or when kids hit:

• To Test The Power: As I already mentioned it above the first few times kids hit is not because of any particular intention. They hit to test their power just like when they learn to walk they explore it by walking all the times. For kids it is a way to test their power and its limits.
• To Get The Attention: Few actions direct get attention and hitting is one of them. When parents are not able to spend quality time with kids, kids hit to seek their attention.
• When Their Parents Hit: Sad but true. Kids are cute copycats; they may not understand your words but they will surely understand your actions. If you think it is a reason for you, stop it right here.

From where your kids learn:

• Family: If you or your family members hit the kid or anyone, they will surely learn it so choose your action carefully.
• Television: Loud action shows left its affect on kids mind. Kids cannot understand the real super hero concept, for them super heroes are strong and so they try to copy them.
• Surrounding environment: Kids are very good in observation. They try to copy the things they see. If your surrounding environment is not good they too will learn it slowly and behave the same way.
• Toys: Pretend play plays very strong role in your kids development. With the figure toys kids play good guy bad guy games (fighting games)  and slowly that controls them.

How to teach your kid “hitting is bad”:

• Stop hitting: Kids are cute copy cats. If you want them to behave nicely, you too behave the same way. If you think you hit them even once in a while stop it right here and see the difference. You may think hitting once in a while is required to teach them a lesson but truly speaking there is nothing which you can’t teach them without hitting.  Read When do you get angry on your kids
• Spend enough time: The second most important reason why kids hit is “to get the attention”. Kids are attention seeker and when they don’t get it enough, they try all the ways. Screaming, shouting, throwing and hitting are their preferable ways which always fulfill their intention. Spend quality time with your kids, show your love and see the improvement.
• Explain in good mood: Bed time is always good time to talk. Talk in best mood of your kid and try to explain the things. You can take advantage of books and/or even your own stories to teach them a lesson.
• Introduce punishment: When you think nothing works, you have become little bit strict to show the limits. Introduce small punishment like time out or take away techniques. You have to teach them few things are not at all acceptable and hitting is one of those.